Ben's funeral was a beautiful, poignant and moving occassion.  We were reminded of Ben's character, his humour, and the change in him after his ordination.  Ben often talked about 'everything being gift' - the gift of life, the gift of ordination, the gift of friendship, the gifts that God gives us.  Ben's life was a gift, his priestly ministry was a gift, and the teachings that he wrote when suffering are a gift, and they can be used to help us in our teaching.  There were times of laughter during thr eulogy, and many many tears as well.  It was a funeral that Ben asked for, and one that we as his friends were sad to be having to attend after such a short life, but we were all proud to be seen as his friends, and celebrate his life.

Life has been a little strange...my body is re-adjusting to the medication, I have about 6 weeks left of the PhD (although I have not been paid for 5 months), and still no idea about what to do next...although I have some pilgrimgages booked...Rome and Rio await!

A tough october....maybe November will be easier on me.

In these last few days I have been blessed with people offering me hugs (both real and virtual) and support, and have provided a sympathetic ear.  Ben will be missed, by many, but the love that has been expressed is a blessing.
As preparations for his funeral are underway, we pray for him and his family, his friends and the diocese of East Anglia at this sad time

Sad news this morning - Ben died peacefully in the night.  I had a phonecall during the night to tell me.

May he now rest in peace and rise in glory

I have stepped back 18 months and am back on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication.  It has been a tough month and that is the way the cookie crumbled.  Pray for me.

In other news, I went to visit Fr Ben at the hospice at the weekend with 2 other friends.  On walking out after saying goodbye, the three of us just stood in the entrance and cried.  He is still going, but incredibly weak and it is so so sad.  Pray for him.