Friday, February 27, 2004

WELL ITS KINDOF ALL GOOD
have got a study...but its different to the one that i was expecting..my experiment has kind of been changed and so that means a bit of a re-write for my introduction, but hey jeremy says if i just happily type away, he will chop and change my project..and as he marks it, that seems like quite a good little deal to me...
but that means no walk to the double locks for me this weekend...cos i am doing the eneagram thing on saturday, sucnday is a work stupidly hard day so that i can get this introduction finalised so i can send it to him on monday...sorry guys....the walk sounded like a lovely plan, but just takes too much time out of my day....
never mind, there will be times after my exams when i can actually have some fun
x
I WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN...
today i have to be all official because i am being the rep at the open day again, but all i really want to do is make a snowman...i was just about to make one with helen, but then we bumped into our supervisor and he stole helen from me, and then after i will be getting my experiment put on my computer...but yes...snow is indeed very pretty, and i was very excited when i opened my curtains this morning, and saw snow all around...untrodden on virgin snow....so very very pretty. but i all i really want to do is make a snowman, but i dont think that i will be able to. never mind...

my friend from germany...well she was from exeter, but is doing a year in germany has came to visit for the weekend. its lovely to have her back and to catch up... its like a little re-union...

so have now got an experiment...if anyone knows any old men (ie have any tutors/lecturers) who wont mind doing the study please can you let me know...)

zosh x
and if anyone else has built a snowman, then i am very jealous of you. grr

Thursday, February 26, 2004

HOW EXCITING?

dont you just love snow???!!! i love it, its so pretty - lets hope it settles so i can make a snowman
xx
AT LONG BLOODY LAST...

hey everyone look:

Hi Zosh

we have the second experiment!

HURRAH!!!!!!! but jeremy is away today - so i get it tomorrow! fantastic indeed! still need a flower experiment - but we are getting there!

oh and james has done something clever for me...

hopefully that will work...

yesterday we had ash wednesday...this as we were told by Paul is the beginnig of lent which we all kindof know already, but also a time for fasting, prayer and giving. its a time for preparation so we can think about what we actually belive and think, and thank Jesus for what he did for us, and just think about how much He is in our lives, and how we can improve ourselves. there are many things that i think i can improve about me, i wont write them but there are things.

we then had a talk about What is Christian Maturity by Dave Wells, who is a good egg really. It was a good talk, i enjoyed it, and i was glad to find that i can still mature even though i doubt, and am not always certain about things. He had these clever little boxes that we had to build in how we think that our life went. I wanted a prayer box because to me, if i am doubting or am not quite certain, then i will pray to help me get out of the state, and regain certainty. but i had a problem with the word certainty...i am trying to think of a better word, something not as strong, but it hasnt come to me yet..but anyway it was a good talk - i enjoyed it, it made me laugh and think, and the story at the end brought a tear to my eye. i also think that havng a strong community behind you is so important. i think yes. you can mature on your own, but sometimes, you need the help and guidance from others. aometimes i ask Lisa things, sometimes (well a lot of the time i ask Paul for guidance), and for me the Cathsoc here has given me a community were i feel safe and i can have strange doubting thougyts, i can question and i can still believe, in an environment where i dont feel threatened, i wont be looked upon in a funny way, and where i think that other people might also have the same thoughts. also scripture is so important...sometimes the answer will jump ouyt at you, at other times you have to think about it more, or read the reading over and over again, but a message will come one way, and so that is also so important. so that is what i got from the talk, and that is quite a lot, so from my point of view the talk was very worthwhile.

but hurrah - tomorrow i will have two experiments - what joy!

have a good day guys

zosh xxx

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

JEREMY - GOOD EGG. GRAHAM BAD EGG

jeremy is great as a supervisor but he is getting annoyed with graham (bad supervisor) like i am:

I am waiting (like you!) for that e-mail that graham PROMISED he would send me today.... as SOON as I hear
you will of course be the first to know.

cheers
J

you see evil evil man that graham is...oh well life goes on...
TODAY IS ASH WEDNESDAY...SO YESTERDAY WAS...
So yes today is ash wednesday, the beginning if lent and the time that we prepare for easter. It is one of the two days that the Church asks us to fast and abstain form eating meat (the other as i was saying yesterday is Good Friday). Tonight we will be having an Ash Wednesday service...i am looking forward to it.

So yesterday was pancake day. the day was miserable the evening wasnt. I was making pancakes for everyone, and it was a lot of fun...i made four batches of batter (not a measuring jug, or wieghing scale in sight, all done by guessing consistency, its the best way to do it). james was also frying pancakes (deep frying them really) and he also nearly set the kitchen on fire. i know i said that the secret was about the hot pan, but really - it didnt have to be that hot. I won on the pancake mis-haps. I only spoilt one, whereas james spoilt about 4 (although one was Tessa's fault...never give tessa a frying pan - she was dangerous!). James also burnt a few of his...but i soo realised why - if he burnt them, then he would eat them - cunning plan. anyway, it was a lot of fun making the pancakes, everyone liked them, and i only burnt my hand when cleaning the hob at the end...

after we went to James', marks, and robs house and we played Monkey Ball - oh oit brings back the memories, and then we watched ivor the engine (lisa can make great ivor sounding noises). I ate chocoloate until i could no longer eat chocolate, and lisa got the swearing out of her system for all of 6 minutes! never mind - this swearing box may be quite full... i was tired so went back home- that oh so long walk back...

have better be getting on with my work - hope everyone else has blogged about my pancakes...they were good!
xxx

Monday, February 23, 2004

HOORAH TO STUDENT ADVICE CENTRES!
so on friday i did the two things that paul told me to do... i went to the gym AND to the student advice centre...where i just sat crying and they rang my supervisor...and look at the result i got...

Hi Zosh

below is Graham's response - please don't worry. Please bear in mind,

(1) The deadline for the project is the 25th April, which means we have
over two months. I want to stress that I am more than happy to read/amend any
drafts of the project literally up to the day before the final deadline.

(2) I am well aware things have been delayed and as a result you are a priority
for me vis a vis student projects so please feel free to send me anything u have
already written or ask for any assistance.

(3) *I* am the person marking this project and I am fully aware of the overall situation
and as a result will be able to give you a fair mark given the circumstances.

Once again, *please* don't worry things are going to be ok.

Cheers
J

i must note that i have never had a problem with jeremy he has been great, and in my opinion has just got a whole lot better, its this graham guy that has been annoying, but never mind - i now have my supervisors whole attention and its great!

saturday i worked and shopped - for food that is. and sunday i worked, went to mass, and worked again. Am sad to see that james doesnt think that mine and Tessa's singing is up to his ever so hig standards...but never mind, you cant please everyone in the world, and i already kindof knew that - well he had said it! but i helped him with the food and cheese grating cos he hadnt put the water on early enough, and i whipped up a veggie option too! after i just chatted with the guys that remained, and then went to do more work, did the powerpoint pre-test i needed to do for my project and read some more journals.

my mummy has given me a pancake recipe that i swear by for tuesday -am very much looking forward to making them.

have a good day to you all
ps lisa - hope to see u soon my lovely
xxx

Thursday, February 19, 2004

STILL BEYOND A JOKE...
just the other day at mass we were talking about nose-bleeds, and i said i got them in the summer and when i was stressed...well i had one this morning...and it certainly is not summer. still no experiments, still no participants still no project, and still my supervisor does not care. my tutor did when i ended up crying in his office yesterday...so he sent me into town to pamper myself, so i had a hair cut. am now just putting all my effort into an essay that i a not enjoying writing..bt never mind.
cathsoc yesterday was ok...mass was nice - James said the singing was ok today (always nice to get his approval) apart from Pauls blunder he said...it must have been the excitement of all those people praying for him! after we had some food and played word assosciation games, tabboo, and then the Bible Challenge (at which point i would like to add Tessa cunningly disappeared!), i was bad...that is why i am reading the bible at the mo...but to be honest when i read it i concentarte on what the reading means and not what book it comes from, or what exact verse it is...in my defence. mark beat lisa by the way.

am very subdued, but never mind other people in the world are worse off

grrr

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

REALLY ITS BEYOND A JOKE NOW
so i am really pissed off...its not even funny any more, and i worried my mum by crying down the phone to her all last night. if a student gives a piece of work in late, there is uproar, and a fail is given....but when Dr's give work late its all...well you will still get it all done...dont worry about it....and its just not fair. yes i am talking about my co-supervisor still not having made my experiments...i was told that i would have them three weeks ago, and i still dont have them, and i am so upset that it is silly. i just want to get this project over and done with, but have not been able to do anything for three weeks because the stupid man wont do his part. i mean i was doing so well in not taking an anti-depressant in 5 days, but i have had to take one everyday this week because i have just been feeling so miserable about it all. it is beyond a joke now, because it is making em so upset..i might even go and see my tutor because this is all beyond my control now.

anyways, apart from that i have been doing extra work for my seminar reading cos i am good like that, and i have been doing some research for my essay as it gives my something to do.

Today is Pauls day (it says so in the book in the chapel if you dont belive me), as every priest in the Plymouth diocese i think it is gets a day for you to pray for them...and today its Pauls turn...isnt it lucky that it falls on a cathsoc night...! so i would just like to pray for Paul and thank him for all the help that he has given to everyone here....

lets hope all your days are better then mine...

grr

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

oh what a couple of days...

so saturday night was fun...the chocolate fondue (if i do say so myself was yummy)...i managed to make the kitchen look romantic...and a good time was had by all at home and at the lemmy....sunday morning i was tired but managed to ding. Ella was the trying to teach me this hymn which is done in the form of an echo but i was just so tired that i couldnt get it..after i told karen that i didnt really want to sing it next week cos no wy can i do it justice, but felt bad cos i know ella wants to do it loads...never mind...

monday was an odd day...went to a meeting but it was cancelled so met up with helen and we decided to go to town as our supervisor was not in the building...we then went back to campus and did some reasearch and then went to see our supervisor who is doing his best to calm me down, but making me annoyed by saying "i had a thought whilst i was lying on a beach in florida..." but never mind, the age range for my participants has been widened and at so that means - paul i can test you if you will do it for me...?and it also means that i have to ring up a lot of strange people and go around there houses..so i cant test people between 40-70 now...so if anyone knows people...i will be very greatful!

today i am trying to get one of my pre-tests to work but it is not allowing me to open the file..looks like another trip to jeremy's office
grrr

Saturday, February 14, 2004

SINGLES PARTY DAY....WOHOO!
yep tonight is the night to party....am goin to do it good and proper....
am happy cos yesterdays five minute talk earnt me a ten pound gift voucher, and all the biscuits i could carry home - how cool! and i get the same again in two weeks time!

dont you just hate it when supervisors get cocky...

Oh dear,

I can detect from this e-mail a certain level of panic creeping in.
Come and see me monday PM (helen is also coming so if u can arrange with
her that would be good) and I shall sort all this out as best I can.

Please don't worry this will all be ok
J

only a bit of panic creeping in...i have no experiments and no participants - i think anyone would be panicing (bar James - he doesnt seem to worry about anything really!)

to everyone in a couple - well hope you have a lovely day...and to all the singles like me...well happy singles day...

xxx

Friday, February 13, 2004

UNLUCKY FOR SOME...
well today have been takin git a bit slow, but have been working...have just given a talk for the open day as i am the student rep...apparently the admissions tutor liked the light-heartedness of it...well i did only have notuice about the thing yest evening...
oh - did the RAG pub-crawl yesterday - amy was my third leg - it was very fun - i was dressed up as a witch...we ended up in warehouse - met a Polish Rag member who was very excitable...perhaps too much so...but never mind....
am just reading and reading and more reading at the mo...my supervisor should be abck from his holiday soon...so i might be able to get something done...
and lets pray for paul on his retreat. he is a good egg after all..
bring on tomorrow and singles party - Lisa have got your lemmy ticket! chocolate fondue...mmm yummy - tessa is coming too - cant wait...
xxx

Thursday, February 12, 2004

THE AFTERMATH
Obviously...everyone was waiting for me to get the Neighbours question..and i got the answer...Karen was then upset that she was not up on Neighbours knowledge so i obligingly filled her in...some people left...some people stayed...but a Catenian put a tener behind the bar...so obviously we had to spend it...so we got minstrels i got my third pint, and i was away. i was getting quite tired but people we staying and staying, but i was getting tireder and tireder...james was driving to me to the point of doubling over laughing, with witty comments such as "Bishops are only priests that are upgraded"...and "if you actually try to be funny then you really are a wanker"...and i actaully found out that i had left my brain in a computer on campus...and was very uspet...
there is no doubt that victory was very sweet indeed, but bed was also very welcomng...lisa had the couch...james kindly tols us when he was home safely..and i was off in the land of nod...but am knackered this morning...
a big thank you to all of cathsoc for making it a memorable evening, it was great...i just hope that we can keep it up next year..well you can cos i wont be there.
a big thank you to everyone who helped and to the people who tidied so Lisa and i didnt have to...
remember guys - we are the champions...45-29...oh so sweet...
am off back to bed now...well after i have done a bit of work...
zoshx
THE VICTORY IS SWEET...THE CHAMPIONSHIP IS OURS!
ok...so am going to do some scene setting...mass had been said...food was served (very yummy food it was too...but i digress), drinks were flowing, and pleasantries were exchanged...little did the Catenians know just how competitive I am...well it was not called the battle of epic proportions for nothing. we had to forget last years slight dip in form (although i wasnt there last year..this is the scene setting atmosphere building talk...)and regain our pride...and my arse didnt we do well. Yes the quiz was great...some very taxing questions, for both the Catenians(yes real people) and for Cathsoc (yes real students!), but we emerged victorious....Lisa was the quiz mistress and her questions cannot be disputed one bit...cos everyone does know that Badger likes Mashed Potatoes - its obvious...no...seriously there were some really hard ones in there...and when a music question came up...james was "shocked...because it is actually a music question..." and when a catenian complained about another music question, Lisa ver wittily replied "its alternative mainstream". i got the eye question right...i wsa very impressed..everyone knows the ambioplia is an "eye that is cosmetically perfect...but useless" come on that is so obvious surely...
so anyway cathsoc won...45-29 we whooped arse irts fair to say....

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

ANY MORE BLOOD FOR ANY MORE?
well yesterday i gave blood - only for the second time, but its worth it....and then did the mini-squash and had fun with james and tessa whilst they were using my highlighters to colour in the sign - its lovely - see James' web page....then went to my seminar...then went home and worked...then worked.,..then had tea...was told i looked very young...and then chatted to rachel for ages...
today had the doctors and have got excema - have never had it before, but have it now!!!also had blood tests done - so have mathcing patches on both arms, the reason for my tests are quite odd...i have a lot of pain sometimes (ok so quite obvious now), and find it hard to move....this i felt was wrong so they are checking my bloods, and i have some medicine too...
got the cd with my brain pictures on, but am having toruble with how to work the programme - so big plea to James - who is good at all these things...can you find my brain for me...thank you...
quiz tonight - am looking forward to it...glad lisa is looking forward to valentines eve with me...always nice, and well back to work it goes
zosh xx

Monday, February 09, 2004

OH MAN
for all those who say school reps do nothing, are so wrong. just came out of a meeting that lasted for two whole hours, where i wanted to bash one particular member of staffs head against the brick wall - now its not often i get angry...but i almost had steam coming out of my ears...cant really say what the argument was about - but it was quite heated....well...
so yesterday the service was really nice, in fact really really good. then after, the new housemate came - yay! she seems really friendly but was obviously very tired..

worked all afternoon, and into the evening, and then collapsed into bed...it was lucky i woke up in the night, cos i found out that we had a power cut, and because of this meeting this morning, i wsa able to set my second alarm clock - so that i got up in time...well done me for having the sense to think that at 4 in the morning is what i say...

say am doing some MORE research - heard from my supervisor...he is still on holiday but doesnt seem to have a care in the wolrd about my project...feel like crying really cos it is driving me insane

also we ahve no-one to man the cathsoc stall at the mini-squash - Lisa is not allowed to do it, she does too much already...i am going to do as much as i can but i cant really miss my one seminar of the week - so i hope the reast if the committee can do something...
grrr to everything
and lastly - on thursaay - i did put out a sorry for the mistakes for Paul...but now i know you were very stressed - another big sorry goes out to you - will try not to laugh any more...but you see - better to laugh then cry i think...dont you agree?
xxx

Saturday, February 07, 2004

CAMPUS...ON A SATURDAY...
yes am on campus but only came up in hope that my two expeiments had been sent through - how foolish...spent the morning doing my seminar reading - done!, and am just off to by food of some sort to eat for the week...great fun...wil also see if my shoes in the sales are still there...have also done some of my project - am doing all the methods for my experiments seeing as they are all similar - but its quite funny...eg "there wre X participants, ranging from X to X (mean age X) - you see - its great really....helen and i have decided we are going to ambush staff - it really is the way to go - helen and i had a big moan after my brain scan yesterday (oh and i have a wonderful brain by the way - its official...and i made no errors in my test, thus making me a genius i am sure!)...and we concluded that staff had to do our test, our supervisor was mean, and helen's computer really is old - she is going to use mine - which isnt great, but better than hers!
actually cooked again yesterday - granted it was only grilling breaded cod, but it can be classed as cooking! then watched american idol, and im a celebrity....one of pauls priest friends came, and Jordan claimed on the telly - she was not a slapper - i then had to explain (after being asked you realise...) just what a slapper is....
paul said to me this morning - he met a nice spannish psychologist at his formal - he thought he might be to old for me...but could be a sugar daddy...why thank you Paul - nearly made me choke on my breakfast!
to town i descend!
xxx

Friday, February 06, 2004

STILL WHY OH WHY OH WHY?
well my supervisor is going to regret saying that he will be checking his emails cos i have been sending him some angry ones...ending "hope you are enjoying your holiday!" grr...all i want to do is my project....
went to teh gym this morning to de-stress - lost 560 calories - good going - its my aim to lose over 500 in a work out...but i think i lose more cos if you include going up cardiac to get there...cardiac was covered in worms this morning too.

have to go cos there is lots of reading for me...and i am having my brain scanned today - should be fun...am going to beg staff to do my project - its the only way i can see it getting done...grrr its all very upsetting dont you know...will see what helen is doing about it too

have a gd weekend all of you
xxx

Thursday, February 05, 2004

thurs
WHY OH WHY OH WHY?
why do supervisors think it will be sensible to go on holiday half-way through a term? blatently its not a good idea when he controls 4 stressed students.....grrr. he thought he was helpful sending me this list of people to ring so that i could do my study on them...BUT...they are all over 70! not much help when my patient is 55! argh! please - if anyone knows staff that will happily oblige in a project - who are male and between 50-60 i will be very grateful if you could give them my details...i need participants...hmm and so will my friend helen - she is having the same problem...!
other than that cathsoc was a comedy of errors...we forgot so much - an allelulia, a memorial acclamation - Kris forgot to play the verses of the communion hymn (after one chorus..well is that it?!), but bless Lisa she sang! Wohoo - said it was a blogable occassion so i have now blogged it. After we had this bloke called Charles to talk to us - he seemed like a friendly chap - and talked quite a lot, about all these different movements and what he does. it was a good talk - shame people didnt turn up - he came all the way from London! after a bag of jelly babies went down very quickly..and then lisa and i cleared up the bar. Lisa and i will happily let Karen organise music again...sorry for the mistakes!
I see James has put a magic eye picture on his blog - i think it was just to get his comment tally up...i am not so clever so will not be putting one of those up...BUT am having my brain scanned on friday - and think it will be great to show you all that one does actually exist up their.
am now off to do some photocopying of journal articles for an essay....
have a good evening - freinds starts tonight! that is like SO fantastic!
xxx

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

feeling a bit better...
so am feeling a bit better today...hoped to have sorted some things out...
have done some data analysis for my project...its all very complex, but had to do it as my supervisor is going away for a week - i dont call that supervision myself - but hey ho never mind...its getting there. i have to ring people on the psychology database for participants - unless anyone can get their tutors...or other people in their department to do my project for me....participants need to be healthy men between 50-60....
had my first brain and mind seminar - seems ok, but was only introduction...but have done some essay research too....this is the new organised zosh you see...
cathsoc tonight - will try and keep eyes open - but will be hard..am tired - didnt sleep well last night...
worked today+am cooking lisa tea
and professor jeffree...will get prisoner dilema notes to you soon

Monday, February 02, 2004

monday
ok so very good and very bad weekend
friday night - very good thank you lisa - you are a star
saturday - very tired, but worked hard and did my homework supervisor set.
sunday - not so good - in fact bloody awful. mass today was hard cos the reading was the one that i had chosen for my grans funeral - it is one of my favourite bible readings, but just brings back so many painful memories.
then in the evening - well it was so bad that i dint even want to write about it. i just want to tell that one person that i am sorry, and that they have been there through thick and thin, and i cant stop crying at the moment...thats it.