It is time for me to do my Papal visit update, as it has been just over a month, have done some thinking about the event, and yeah, just to give people an account of the event from my perspective.
the introduction to the event for me was a few months before the actual event as I had been chosen by my deanery to be the deanery youth co-ordinator for Bromley. So all the people in my position for Southwark diocese had a meeting at Archbishop House. We were given a training session about the day, about looking after the youth, and we talked about what we wanted to get out of the day. We also had the chance to meet and talk to Archbishop Peter Smith which was good.
In all honesty the time before the event, I hadnt given it much thought, I had been on holiday in Taize, taken some time out in Spain, and so when the week finally came and the media impact was going strong, it really hit. That week I had a meeting with the 7 youth I was looking after for the day - and they really and truly were a breath of fresh air - really excited about the day, happy they were chosen to go, and taking the opportunity to learn about their faith.

On the Saturday, I was up early for a Saturday - 5:30! I got everything together for the day and went down to my local station where I was meeting 5 of the youth - they all came on time for the train...and the other two came on at their stop also - I had them all, and we would get to the meeting point on time - good stuff. On the train I was trying to get a group photo, another passenger offered to take it for us, and seeing that we were all in our regulation Diocesan tops asked us what we were doing. The youth all looked at each other, so I said "we are going to see the Pope"...his response was "cool, have a great day. Its good to see people excited about it". I thanked him for that positive attitude, and he said that everybody was entitled to express their faith without other people having a say about it. Breathe of fresh air.
When we arrived into Victoria, I immediately bumped into a friend from another diocese which was a lot of fun, and then somebody else who recognised me from Taize. On the way down to our Diocesan meeting point I spotted a few more people I knew in other dioceses - it was lovely to bump into people I had not seen for a while, or who I just did not expect to find. When all the groups from the diocese where present, we made our way into the Cathedral Square, where we were sat near the lovely EA. We had quite a good seating spot, and we waited. It was very very cold sitting on the floor, but we dealt with it. Just before the celebration of Mass started, we had prayer outside to get us in the prayerful mmod - and we were quiet until the large screen outside the cathedral began to show images of the Pope making his way into the Cathedral - applause and cheers errupted.
The celebration of Mass was lovely, really special - a number of priests came out to distribute communion among us, and then it was the time we had all been waiting for. The Pope came out to talk to us. One diocesan youth gave a talk on behalf of us, and then the Pope spoke. To be honest it was quite hard to hear what was being said - but there was talk of finding time each day to find peace and silence to hear what God is saying to us, and listening to what God is calling us to do. When this was said, maybe I shouldnt say this - but it did remind me of the Taize philosophy and what Frere Roger has for us.
When this had ended, we were waiting for the square to empty, and I clocked Anne Widdicombe being interviewed. so when there was a lull in the crowd noise, I shouted "Anne, Good Luck on Strictly...how is the Cha Cha Cha". She looked over and saw people having a giggle and kind of pointing to me, and so she asked us all to vote for her, and then I shouted back "Give our love to Anton Du Bec" - and then we moved on.
A police escort from the Cathedral to Hyde Park occurred, where a few rubbish protestors tried to get the youth to leave the church, or tell them they were wrong to believe in God...but we just joined in with the Diocese of Northampton who were merrily singing "I you're Catholic and you know it clap your hands" - brilliant.
A collection of our picnic, our VIP passes, and then we made our way into the VIP area of hyde park. the atmosphere here was just amazing. the media has described this as similar to a Christian Glastonbury. the mood was just so happy - we were singing praise, praying, listening to the talks, meeting with friends (lots of Taize people - and seeing the EA people again was just lovely), and then all the Bishops came on. i was actually cheering for Bishop Michael of EA after the Taize experience I had, and the lovely card he sent me, and all the banners were going. Nick, who was holding the banner for my church heard me shout his name out, so he saw where I was stood.
When the Papal arrival was imminent the choir started singing some of the beautiful movements from the Messiah - moving moving music. And then the arrival - just chaos, excitement and cheering - I cannot really describe the atmosphere. What happened next just moved me to the extreme. I hyde park, 80,000 people knelt in prayer for adoration of the blessed sacrament. two Taize chants proceded the exposition, and then we all knelt in prayer. Tears flowed. Tell out my soul was the hymn being sung at the end when Nick came to find me to give me a huge hug, and my youth, who by then were calling me "mummy" were just smiling and moved by the whole thing. On the walk back to Victoria station, the youth were telling me how lucky they had felt to have been chosen for the day, that the experience was amazing, and they had never felt prayer like that before. I thanked the youth for the day - they had really made it so enjoyable for me. they were lovely, engaging, inquisitive, prayerful, joyous and just special. I was blessed to look after them - they really did make my day. At the station I met people from my Parish, and we chatted about the varying experiences, while we made our way home.
I got in late - I heard from all my youth that they had got home safely and thanking me for the day, and was very very tired.
I had a shower, a gin, some food, and then got everything I needed ready, and then headed back to church to get the coach to Birmingham.
I had no sleep on the coach - was just full of adrenaline still, and we arrived in Birmingham at about 4:30. It was at about 5:00 when we arrived at a rainy and still dark Cofton park. We set up the St James camp (we had our church banner with us), and sat and chatted to other people in the parish, and the people infront of us, who had me down as too cheery for somebody at this time of the morning. Watching the sunrise was lovely, and everything all started coming together when there was more light. At about 8, Boyce and Stanley came on to sing, and we were live on Radio 4 singing the old classics "Bread of Life" and the Magnificat. there was also a listening to the rehearsal of the choir that would be singing during the service, and then a procession of a ridiculous number of priests. I have never ever seen so many - I was just wondering who was celebrating at the various parishes that morning.
The rain stopped for the Pope's arrival. It was funny that beforehand, when it was raining and there was a blanket of unbrellas, an announcement came saying that during communion the priests would be seen as they would have an umbrella - for those of us who were awake this provided a giggle. But it had stopped raining, and there were many cheers.
The service was lovely - the beatification occurred, Pat from uni was doing the second reading, and we all had time to think and pray among about 60,000 other Catholics (I may have had a little doze during the homily - just a tiny one), but still, it was a lovely service.
At the end the rousing hymn got us all going, and we cheered even more when a husband of one of the parish members sent us a text to say that we had been spotted on BBC footage with the banner - hurrah! At the end I looked at my phone to see a missed call from James, as I had texted on my arrival asking if they had been allocated tickets, but thinking there would be no hope in finding them. However, I was wrong. With the use of our parish banner, their flag and good positioning of cameras, we spotted each other, and so i went down to see them. Having had James, Ella and the girls over for dinner just over a week before, and on their leaving said to them "see you in about a year", it was lovely to see them again. It was here I found out that Ella had juggled for the Pope - genius!
Back to the parish group - we ate our pic nics, and danced to the music coming from the stage, and having banner fun (how many situations could we get the banner photographed with), and as a parish we made our way back to the coach. Now during this time a lady who had come from my parish and I had many discussions. A few years ago I had a very teary service in church, and she came up at the end, and gave me a huge hug, chat and prayer, and I have never forgotten that simple gesture. We talked about relationships and loneliness and kind of giving up hope. She was saddened to hear that I was giving up hope on this, and was praying for me, and has continued ever since.
On the coach I cracked open a can of gin and tonic, toasted the Pope and the other parishoners who were travelling with me. We all had a laugh and a giggle and had experienced this journey together. Very very rarely do you get to see the sunrise and pray with other people in your parish, and share such a moment together. This was almost as important to me then the actual papal event - it is what I will remember and think about when I look back at the weekend.
On returning home, I was knackered, but still too excited to sleep. my little nephew was in when I got back so I had a play and a cuddle with him. I then sat down, and then all the adrenaline left, and tiredness hit. Having had no sleep since 5:30 am Saturday morning, it hit me, and at 9:30 I went to bed.

The visit was positive - very positive. I had a debrief with my kids a week later. they had all be so encouraged by it. One felt that she had never really been given the chance to publicly express her faith, and so expressing it with 3,000 other people her age was just a release for her. another had just had a brother return from 6 months duty in Afghanistan, and so had so much to be thankful for, and she had so much praise. The boys said it was something they would never forget, and had really kicked start their faith, and they all said they would not have changed the day for the world. and they all said they had gained another mum from it!

I had a great time - i really did. However, i dont know how much of it was down to the Pope being there, or how much was to do with being able to celebrate faith with so many people my age, seeing lots of friends, and spending time with people in my parish who I may not necessarily would have spent time with previously. the papal visit was the vehicle that let all this happen - but it should happen more frequently, and that is the feedback I have had from other people as well.

so there we have it - that was my papal weekend. lovely, special and fulfilling prayer wise. tiring but worth it. I would not have changed it for the world - the experience will be with me for a long long time.

I promise I will write about the Papal visit soon - I have had my debrief with the kids, I just need to do my own personal debrief...but it will be done shortly.

I am writing for a few things:

- most importantly, I would like to as for prayers for Bishop Michael of EA diocese...his health is not so good, and could do with them. Bishop Michael gave me the best prayer experience this summer in Taize, and listened to me, and welcomed me as part of EA...prayers for him would be fantastic.

- I would kind of like prayers for me. I am going through a down patch, and struggling to push my way out of it. Work is busy, moving but busy, but I am having that panic of I dont know whether I am good enough

- thirdly, another one of my closest friends is thinking about leaving to do mission for 2 years. I just dont think I can have any of my close friends go anymore. I rely on friends around me, more then people can imagine. Obviously I want them to do what they are being called to do, but I am being selfish, as I need my friends, and to be away for two years is just so upsetting.

sorry for a bleak post...