so tired - and will blog more about my weekend soon - but two days, 3 papal homilies, many friends met with, no sleep, lots of talking, lots of singing, lots of laughing, lots of praying - just amazing!
and the 7 bromley deanery youth I was in charge of - were just a pleasure! pure delights!
loved it!
"If you're Catholic and you know it, clap your hands!"
I am PhD Student...I like gin. I am getting over a tough few years, and I talk about Taize a lot.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Dear Bloggers
I am going to write about my Taize experience for this year...so those who think I write too much about Taize may not want to read this post.
This year was the third year in a row that I have been to Taize for two weeks. I love going for more then one week - I find I get so much more out of the experience, and it gives time for my prayer time to develop, and more time to explore the real me without the complications of everyday life.
As with two years ago, my first week was spent with the Diocese of East Anglia, as I have many friends in that group - many of which were cemented this year through long discussions - especially regarding vocations - as one of my good friends has recently been ordained. The group is led by Bishop Micheal Evans - a Bishop who i grew to love and admire in that week - spending so much time with us - the youth, answering our questions, joining in with our jokes, and being the true shepherd - to us his sheep. One of my most powerful prayer experiences came in that week. I had a really hard day one day, and after evening prayer I had questions, anger, upset that I needed to get off my chest. So I went to talk to Bishop Michael who sits in church in the evening to hear confessions. I spoke to him about what I feel God is asking me to do with my life, the problems that I have in my diocese and parish, my loneliness, depression, self-harm and masks that I have developed over the years, and how that has had an impact on my relationship with God. He sat, listened, gave advice - told me to write to my Bishops quoting him, and when I was about to leave, he asked to pray for me. When he did, I felt a surge of love and warmth, my muscles went tingly, I felt I had lost control, and at the end without warning I just burst into tears. Not knowing what to do with myself - my legs felt heavy - I could not move, Bishop Micheal hugged me - such a grand fatherly hug - it was just a special moment - and one when I knew that the 'dirty southwarker' had been fully accepted into the East Anglia group. the week just improved from then on...We wrote a parody of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance - it becoming "Writing a Taize chant"...I ofetn find myself humming that from time to time. We were being taught about St John's Gospel in the 25-35 bible study group by Frere Emile, a brother I had last year who just personifies happiness and peace. The candle-lit service at the end of the week was tearful for my dearest friend Alicia and I, but we dealt with it, as we knew we had another week there.
My second week was when the group from my church and surrounding churches was arriving. There is now a solid core of us, with one or two new people each year - which sounds good, but there is scope for development. I was welcoming the adults on Sunday, in one of the biggest thunderstorms I have ever encountered - quite scary for somebody with a fear of thunderstorms. It was here when I welcomed a man naed Jerry from Ireland in 2 minutes - he had been there 22 times before - I am not one to patronise...and from that moment I became his favourite. As my job for the week was a welcomer - giving the chant books, and liturgy sheets at one of the doors to the church, every morning he would have saved a space for me to sit, and then give me a reassuring pat on the head when he went! It was only on the Saturday morning did I find out he was a priest, and then we had amazing chats as well! This week, I went to the 25-35 study again - it was being done by Fr Paolo this week - who came out with pearls of wisdom, such as "St Johns Gospel is like one of those nee ecological light-bulbs". But I also went to the Bible study for the second weekers, run by Frere Maxime, who started the session bu saying "I like talking about God and I like talking about food, so I am going to combine the two. And you can all understand French can't you, as you know that French is the language of God". During the week Frere Maxime spoke freely about many topics, about some of his life before becoming a brother, and some of his experiences about being a brother. When he told us about the impact of Frere Rogers death for him, it had me streaming. Frere Maxime also took us on a mini pilgrimage to a nearby town of Bray with a 12th century church...we did out bible study in the field, and les Anglais (licy and I) led the Taize chants in the church after having sung for the whole walk up! The week also was very vocation based, especially when somebody, who I had considered to be a close friend told me that becoming a mother was a waste of time, and I could do something better with my life. I discussed my vocation of motherhood with some of the brothers and some other close friends. I have a close friend who is training for the Anglican priesthood - who after evening prayer on day asked if I could go for a walk with him and a chat, as he needed to cry and needed someone to talk to. I have been in Taize with him for my last 4 times, but have never had this opportunity to talk to him so deeply. It was another special moment, and really confirmed a special relationship there, and this was confirmed when we had a leaving card for each other on our last day, and an almighty immense hug. Licy was my rock for the week, and we truly kept each other going. There were also some beautiful new chants being trialled - the English one just fills me with joy when I sing it - purely beautiful. I also met with my contact sister and had a long conversation with her about my year, how I had developed from my melt down the previous year, and what I was doing. On leaving she also gave me a beautiful card and rosary to help me continue in my spiritual development.
Daniel was also out that week. I thought this could have been awkward - but it wasnt. we found time to have our time to talk about the year and last few months, and how we were both developing in prayer and how our friendship was changing and growing, and how we can continue to help and encourage each other. I find it very easy to talk to him, and he likewise - I see a lot of me in him, and can empathise with some of what he has been through, which helps incredibly. We had a good chat by the Source and that was a good way to end the week.
Sunday Eucharist the day I left was another teary event. I always find leavign Taize quite hard - you develop a routine, you meet people, you have a greater sense of freedom, but when Fr Jerry came up to me to tell me what he thought of me, and how there was one person that always touches him in a visit, and how that was me this year - that was it - I was gone. Brother Matthew gave me a reprieve of not having to sit through this is how you welcome adults meeting as I had done it the week before, giving me time to pack my belongings and my tent, get lunch, and say goodbye to my church group before I started to welcome adults (and two people who I met last year) before getting on the coach home. I also met a few of the girls from my silent week last year which was great, and all in all had a moving two weeks.
Taize never fails to surprise me in one way or another...be it the people I meet, the laughs I have, the spiritual experiences I encounter, or seeing and actually realisng who is important to me in my life, and who it is I need...all really important findings. I had a few mutterings with a few people about going for longer next year, but this is completelt dependent on the PhD...but a month would be good. If anyone reading this, thinks I have completely lost it - I havent. but the community provides me with the support, both spiritually and mentally that sometimes I feel I lack at home.
On my return I wrote to Bishop Michael thanking him for his support and kindness during the week, only got a two days later to have a response from him. I pray for his health, and his continuing ministry, and I pray the EA diocese know just how lucky they are!
Thank you Taize
I am going to write about my Taize experience for this year...so those who think I write too much about Taize may not want to read this post.
This year was the third year in a row that I have been to Taize for two weeks. I love going for more then one week - I find I get so much more out of the experience, and it gives time for my prayer time to develop, and more time to explore the real me without the complications of everyday life.
As with two years ago, my first week was spent with the Diocese of East Anglia, as I have many friends in that group - many of which were cemented this year through long discussions - especially regarding vocations - as one of my good friends has recently been ordained. The group is led by Bishop Micheal Evans - a Bishop who i grew to love and admire in that week - spending so much time with us - the youth, answering our questions, joining in with our jokes, and being the true shepherd - to us his sheep. One of my most powerful prayer experiences came in that week. I had a really hard day one day, and after evening prayer I had questions, anger, upset that I needed to get off my chest. So I went to talk to Bishop Michael who sits in church in the evening to hear confessions. I spoke to him about what I feel God is asking me to do with my life, the problems that I have in my diocese and parish, my loneliness, depression, self-harm and masks that I have developed over the years, and how that has had an impact on my relationship with God. He sat, listened, gave advice - told me to write to my Bishops quoting him, and when I was about to leave, he asked to pray for me. When he did, I felt a surge of love and warmth, my muscles went tingly, I felt I had lost control, and at the end without warning I just burst into tears. Not knowing what to do with myself - my legs felt heavy - I could not move, Bishop Micheal hugged me - such a grand fatherly hug - it was just a special moment - and one when I knew that the 'dirty southwarker' had been fully accepted into the East Anglia group. the week just improved from then on...We wrote a parody of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance - it becoming "Writing a Taize chant"...I ofetn find myself humming that from time to time. We were being taught about St John's Gospel in the 25-35 bible study group by Frere Emile, a brother I had last year who just personifies happiness and peace. The candle-lit service at the end of the week was tearful for my dearest friend Alicia and I, but we dealt with it, as we knew we had another week there.
My second week was when the group from my church and surrounding churches was arriving. There is now a solid core of us, with one or two new people each year - which sounds good, but there is scope for development. I was welcoming the adults on Sunday, in one of the biggest thunderstorms I have ever encountered - quite scary for somebody with a fear of thunderstorms. It was here when I welcomed a man naed Jerry from Ireland in 2 minutes - he had been there 22 times before - I am not one to patronise...and from that moment I became his favourite. As my job for the week was a welcomer - giving the chant books, and liturgy sheets at one of the doors to the church, every morning he would have saved a space for me to sit, and then give me a reassuring pat on the head when he went! It was only on the Saturday morning did I find out he was a priest, and then we had amazing chats as well! This week, I went to the 25-35 study again - it was being done by Fr Paolo this week - who came out with pearls of wisdom, such as "St Johns Gospel is like one of those nee ecological light-bulbs". But I also went to the Bible study for the second weekers, run by Frere Maxime, who started the session bu saying "I like talking about God and I like talking about food, so I am going to combine the two. And you can all understand French can't you, as you know that French is the language of God". During the week Frere Maxime spoke freely about many topics, about some of his life before becoming a brother, and some of his experiences about being a brother. When he told us about the impact of Frere Rogers death for him, it had me streaming. Frere Maxime also took us on a mini pilgrimage to a nearby town of Bray with a 12th century church...we did out bible study in the field, and les Anglais (licy and I) led the Taize chants in the church after having sung for the whole walk up! The week also was very vocation based, especially when somebody, who I had considered to be a close friend told me that becoming a mother was a waste of time, and I could do something better with my life. I discussed my vocation of motherhood with some of the brothers and some other close friends. I have a close friend who is training for the Anglican priesthood - who after evening prayer on day asked if I could go for a walk with him and a chat, as he needed to cry and needed someone to talk to. I have been in Taize with him for my last 4 times, but have never had this opportunity to talk to him so deeply. It was another special moment, and really confirmed a special relationship there, and this was confirmed when we had a leaving card for each other on our last day, and an almighty immense hug. Licy was my rock for the week, and we truly kept each other going. There were also some beautiful new chants being trialled - the English one just fills me with joy when I sing it - purely beautiful. I also met with my contact sister and had a long conversation with her about my year, how I had developed from my melt down the previous year, and what I was doing. On leaving she also gave me a beautiful card and rosary to help me continue in my spiritual development.
Daniel was also out that week. I thought this could have been awkward - but it wasnt. we found time to have our time to talk about the year and last few months, and how we were both developing in prayer and how our friendship was changing and growing, and how we can continue to help and encourage each other. I find it very easy to talk to him, and he likewise - I see a lot of me in him, and can empathise with some of what he has been through, which helps incredibly. We had a good chat by the Source and that was a good way to end the week.
Sunday Eucharist the day I left was another teary event. I always find leavign Taize quite hard - you develop a routine, you meet people, you have a greater sense of freedom, but when Fr Jerry came up to me to tell me what he thought of me, and how there was one person that always touches him in a visit, and how that was me this year - that was it - I was gone. Brother Matthew gave me a reprieve of not having to sit through this is how you welcome adults meeting as I had done it the week before, giving me time to pack my belongings and my tent, get lunch, and say goodbye to my church group before I started to welcome adults (and two people who I met last year) before getting on the coach home. I also met a few of the girls from my silent week last year which was great, and all in all had a moving two weeks.
Taize never fails to surprise me in one way or another...be it the people I meet, the laughs I have, the spiritual experiences I encounter, or seeing and actually realisng who is important to me in my life, and who it is I need...all really important findings. I had a few mutterings with a few people about going for longer next year, but this is completelt dependent on the PhD...but a month would be good. If anyone reading this, thinks I have completely lost it - I havent. but the community provides me with the support, both spiritually and mentally that sometimes I feel I lack at home.
On my return I wrote to Bishop Michael thanking him for his support and kindness during the week, only got a two days later to have a response from him. I pray for his health, and his continuing ministry, and I pray the EA diocese know just how lucky they are!
Thank you Taize
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