there must be something in the exeter water...maybe i should move down there! i dont know...are they putting love in the water....?
well congratulations mark and monica, i am sure that you are exceptionally happy and i wish you all the luck and love in the world.

me wise...yup you guessed it still very much single...hey...whats new

long time, no blog

here we go...weekend went far too quickly, and i was more tired after the weekend then before...if people have facebook and have seen my photos then they will understand why. but dave and andy thankyou for lending us your house to kindof destroy....i had a lot of fun...but your sofa isnt the most comfortable to fall asleep on!

on monday i was a victim of crime - i had my mp3 taken - great!

tuesday i had a church forum meeting - i am really hoping to get a 18-25 thing going, and its looking positive with a trip to taize...another meeting about that on sunday! alexy was on the radio today discussing our research which was a lot of fun

wednesday - met up with jonathan and ellie after work...only had two glasses of wine, but i felt quite tipsy...was a good day at work for some reasons, that some know about. 'nuff said

today - i learnt nigel's way of doing graphs...my introduction to excel with nigel - it was good, we had a laugh, and yeah, i liked it. this evening alexy said that i could have a lazy day at work tomorrow as i have worked so hard in the last two weeks! need to sleep.

also found these that i think that i will end on:

"fear is a useful tool for self-protection"

"Exasperatingly, we're all pretty much restricted to learning what people are like with the permanent confound of our own presence, which is why those chance glimpses of someone you love just walking down the street can seem so precious"

its been a busy busy busy week at work this week! Have been minuting in meetings, helping to write press releases, sorting out our publications, doing some research....and also going on my first training day (bad time to have a 24hour stomach bug, but timely breaks helped). So, i am now very well introduced into project management thanks to the national school of government. if you go to www.lsrc.org.uk/publications then you will see our two new publications that went out today - wohoo! and also on the lsc website our links and mini summaries that alexy and i were finishing off at 5:30 should be there! wohoo!

had my nearly two month review today - alexy is exceptionally happy with my work ability and the work that I have produced, and likes the working attitude that i have, so it was pretty positive. on tuesday i met the research administrator/assistant before me, and she was lovely, so i have met me predecessor and my pre-predecessor...all good. ash, alexy and i had a weird conversation about what women women fancy, and what men men fancy....i love my work.

this weekend should be fun..shopping tomorrows, then after church i am going to jons, and then to andys for his not a housewarming party. on sunday there is a penitential service in the afternoon which i am going to...and this week there are some parish forums, and a meeting about taize next weekend which fr bryan has already told me he wants to see me there...would have gone anyways...would give an arm and a leg to go to taize.

me wise - its a bit up and down. my parents are telling me that i am not eating enough, although i am eating until i am full...havnt done as much running this week as i would have liked, so i hope i havnt put any weight on. will do a longer run tomorrow and sunday. am going to have to train a bit harder as work are determined to get me to do a 10k, and half marathon, which i am up for doing, but need to train as nigel and ash are quite good runners. but mood wise is still very unpredictable, i still have many issues that need to be sorted, so its going to take a long time. who knows....

anyways, relaxing and trashy tv watching to do

please please please can you donate to comic relief....i was eating my tea and felt so uncomfortable for not donating, i had to stop phone and donate. i am tearful when watching it as i just remember my own little children i looked after and cuddled in lesotho. Such a small amount can save a life - it really can....so please

well...

first and foremost, i want to give my upmost congratulations to ella and james - absolutely fantastic news....a little preece - how exciting! and ella, with gas and air, smiling throughout! amazing!

feeling kindof broody - first things first...a boyfriend!


and now...well yesterday i had a headache, twas bad indeed... it started at work, and continued and continued... i fell on the sofa as soon as i got in, and after tea it was even worse...lame little me i went to bed at 9:15! a brilliant nights sleep (something that i have not had in a long time), and when my alarm went off at 6 this morning, i was well up for my run...and so run i did! work was good today...various projects going, and then i get another paper to read...and start to proof read. its all very exciting...

and finally...am planning my trip to madrid to see my brother soon...maybe even the weekend of my birthday.

well, my babcia is back in hospital, she went in on thursday. it appears that she has had some kind of chest or lung infection, and was in an absolutely dreadful way. i went to see her today - she looked better. i tried to make her laugh, but that was a bit sore for her. it was good to see her though, i really hate it when she is very poorly...i really hate it. i have been feeling a bit eeeked by it

i was so tired at work on friday - it didnt help that i was staring at a lot of spss output, and trying to work out what is going on with what seems like very random data..but hey. i didnt get much done, so i even brought it home to look at over the weekend. i havent done that yet, but there is always tomorrow. i am enjoying it though. i still feel very intimidated by the absolute cleverness of some of the people in my office, but that is always the way it will be, as there are always going to be cleverer people out there than me.

and finally....me wise. well, it is still all very up and down i am afraid. i have a lot on my mind at the moment...there is a lot going on in some ways, and not so much in other ways. i know that i am holding back from a lot of things, and there are many other things that i am not admitting to myself though. it seems strange that a lot of people that i know are moving on in leaps and bounds in their lives...ben getting married and james and ella becoming parents some time this week (hopefully), and i just feel like i am standing still, and in some ways even moving backwards. i hate that feeling.

comic relief is showing films of africa and projects that are going on. i sit and think of baby jozefa ( i say baby, but he will be about 6 years old now), and just how wonderful, and beautiful that he is, and it makes me so teary. maybe one day i will get a job where i can be sent out to africa and help HIV affected children. maybe

hmmm
thats just how i am feeling at the moment....its not that i am feeling terribly down, but i am not feeling terribly happy either...you know, i think the doctors the other day entered a space i dont like. i also got an email today from somebody that has made me a little worried about a few things, and them, but i am sure that it will all be ok...i just sent a little message back as i didnt know what i could say in reply.

workwise....the memory paper that i started has changed somewhat as tania and i want to make it less dry and more involved in policy implications...so i have to so a new literatur search...i am currently doing a literature search for marisol about rational decision making and justiciable events, and i am yet to start some consumer journals for work that nigel wants me to do...at least its all very interested...but i am also very excited about court observation work that i will also be doing for vicky - its all very varied but good.

taize last night was just absolutely brilliant - something so simple is just do effective and emotional and - oh just fabulous....i loved it...it made my mum and i quite teary. i was at the front so i could see fr bryan lead me into my cantor line...and this was after in the mass i had already given my two minutes worth of views....go me! i am going to big myself up one minute, when people came over to me, and then to my mum to say that i should sing more solo, and that i had a lovely voice...it did make me smile inside a wee bit... love to sing. really hope taize does happen in the summer - am very excited.

its quite sad that i am happy about this, but i have completed my first month of employment - wohoo...and i have enjoyed it.
this week has been a bit hectic, what with babcia being in hospital, going to a vision meeting about my church parish and being made a group leader at the last moment, meeting an old research assistant from the lsrc with ash, and then tonight going out with some people from work and jonathan.

i had a doctors this week - it was a bit strange. we had a chat about my depression, and what could be done to help me with it. but then conversation changed to some other things that have been bothering me for a long long time and this was termed as an obsessional neurosis...a phrase that i dont like, and has been bothering me a little bit...

this weekend i have got a taize service where my priest has asked me to cantor a bit during venne sanctus spiritus...its an ecumenical petts wood parish taize service, but what is exciting is that i may have the chance to go to taize this year. also on sunday i have been given a little slot to talk about what happened on tuesday night and to get people to come to the next meeting...who says the youth of today dont get involved....