hello again

i feel a mini update is needed...

well, I have accepted my job at the legal services research centre, so that is something to be positive about, and i am also looking for what i can do afterwards as the nine months will go really quickly. have told my old friends in children and family and i cds, and they are all very excited which is really nice, and the good thing is I am in the same building as them all. i really missed them, especially those at cds as they really looked after me.... but i am a bit nervous about starting, but i am sure that it will be fine. I have spoken to a few people in my department now, and they sound friendly...i just hope that they are nice to me, and dont see me as the second choice person...we shall see.

ben - i have been listening to the cds that you made me last year - and they are really good - so i thank you greatly for them...they are now on my music machine so that i can listen to music on the way to work. talking about music..i got the first scissor sisters album for a pound today, and the jose gonzalez album for a pound too - the wonders of charity shops...

having a few thoughts buzzing around my head at the moment...but i am getting there
xxx

well, everything has taken an interesting twist in the last few days...it all started on thursday - i had been pretty miserable during the day...when you have no heating and its literally freezing outside then you find yourself very cold, even when wearing a stupid number of jumpers. the engineer couldnt fix the boiler, someone more senior has to come in...my mum and i then went to my nans so that we could be warm...we got back quite late...it was coming up to 7 when i got a call from an unknown number on my mobile...it turned out it was the people who rejected me from a job last week now offerin me the job if i wanted it. i didnt except straight away i had so mnay thoughts going around my head.

i emailed steve and claire from my old department to see what they thought, and i had a conversation with jon (thanks, i really needed that and to have something sensible said), and my parents. the result is, on monday i will formally accept the job. its a 9 month contract job at the legal services research centre (same org as i temped at before, but the independent research section), and it assistant and admin.

i am going to take the job, but at the same time look for graduate schemes, as they start later in the year, and apply to them as i will then have something more long term to look for. so, that is the plan...formally accept on monday, as they want me to start asap...but grad schemes will be applied to also. so that is what is happening in the world of me. a few things helped me make this decision...claire helped, jon helped, i know the organisation pretty well, and already have friends there, i will be working a floor above my old department, so very close to the people who i really liked, i will see jon lots as he works just round the corner, i am going to earn more then i would just doing stupid temping and gain more experience, and its not going to tie me down forever and i can continue to look for other things...so there are quite a few positive things about the placement.

so its a bit more cheery, and a bit better news for me now. my mobile bill is going to be a bit big this month, but never mind...i have a secure placement for nine months in a place where i know, where hopefully my work will be varied, and i will make new friends, and get to see my old friends...am very excited at seeing claire again...and obv steve!!! (Hehehehehe). but yeah, i know its not permanent, but it can be a stepping stone to something permanent, or i can do a grad scheme after...so prayers that this will go ok will be very lovely, and prayers that i can get onto a grad scheme after will also be very lovely as that will be very handy.

now all we need is the heating to be fixed....

peter and davina went back home today. it was so good seeing my brother again - he is one family member that i can cry on, and he doesnt mind. i did that a few times these last few days, just because i am so fed up employment wise. he understands and sees how mucb it has upset me, and i am going to miss him again now, but its not so long to easter when he will next be coming home again.

i went to the doctors yesterday - she was really nice. i told her all my sleeping/eating troubles/stress/headaches/crying fits that i have been having recently. she just sat and listened until i had got it all out of my system - it was much needed. i am still on my meds, i didnt want my dose to be increased, it would just mean longer to come off them. i have been given a number to ring if it all gets too stressful again which is nice...

employment wise...well am still not employed, i am looking around at what is available, but it does get me really upset when i think about the jobs that i have missed out on. but am trying to remain cheerful about it.

mmm...it was fun on saturday with jonathan and others, i really had to run to get the last train home, and only just made it...peter and davina in a different location, had to get the dreaded night bus home!

thats all for now, my world aint half fun....it did snow this morning though which was nice, but not so nice when the boiler is broken and its very cold in the house
xxx

oh - i forgot to mention...happy 24th birthday jonathan - i hope that you have a lovely day...

and just as a huge cold spell grips us...our heating breaks - tis very cold chez us!

well, as some people know by know, the world of me in the last few days has not been very good at all. basically i have been in the last round of a few jobs, and i didnt get any of them. the one at the LSRC i was down to the last 2 and i was told on friday i didnt have it - i was devastated i really was...i emailed steve and claire in my old department straight away and they said that they really missed out not employing me. steve was especially gutted, and threatened me to keep in touch with him - like i was going to stop! but they were so lovely, saying the norm...like you are so lovely, stay confident we loved you, and miss you etc...bless them, they were gems to work with.

anyways, that was sad. because i am stressed i cant sleep, because i am not sleeping i am more stressed. because i am stressed i am feeling sick, because i am feeling sick i am not really eating, because i am not eating, i feel sick. what a nasty vicious circle i am in.

went to jons on saturday for his birthday, it was lovely seeing him again, and he cheers me up as always. met up with some notts people too.

peter and dav are back for a few days too - well its their last eve today, so we are having a meal for them. its been brilliant spending time with my brother...its been 9 months, so its juts about time!

anyways, have to look forward and not back!
xxx

all this waiting is becoming very stressful upon me...i have now lost over half a stone in weight - granted that is because i have also taken up running, but i run to de-stress. over christmas i had no appetite, and i dont really have a huge appetite anyways. good news is that i am now quite close to my target weight of the last few years...so there is always a bonus out of some situations. am weighting again at the moment - i am verging more on the negative side of things at the moment...but it was funny, when i knew the code for the floor level i had to do my personality test on, and the HR person didnt...well i have worked on that floor before...its not my fault they dont change the code.

well its been awful shitty weather so i have been trapped inside today..meant that my mini trampoline got an hours use, my book had many pages turned, and i got to watch old er on more 4! but i need to get out the house cos i feel quite claustrophobic.

for all the people who read my blog who do pray - some prayers for reduced stress would be great, and that employers actually see my potential and want to hire me cos i am good a wee bit clever and will do my best in any employment that i go to....

so all in all have been waiting and waiting and waiting, with some running, and personality testing in between
xx

so here we go:

POP
So the POP conference was good, i did enjoy it. The bonding and gelling session was very much like your average christian event, but the keynote speakers were excellent, and seeing other peoples presentations were very interesting, and just having the opportunity to meet some occupational psychology companies, and network was very important.

DOP
As i had paid for POP plus i went to the first day of the DOP, by this point i was very tired and was reaching sautuaration level of talks and presentations, but I went to the symposium regarding equality and diversity in the work place held be Pern Kandola which was very interesting indeed, and the level of presentation was amazing compared to the POP.

one of the funniest moments of my time in Bristol was when Jason tried to get us into a strip club, and later on finding out that Sarah talks in her sleep.

Yesterday

Now yesterday a few hours before i had a job interview i found out that i was rejected from another job....i cried uncontrollably for a while, but then had a flash of inspiration. the interview was at a company i have temped at so i emailed my old boss, told him that i was coming down his way...and he told me to see him so he could tell me what to say in my interview. steve was great - he could see i was upset, told me on many occasions that i was great and wonderful (not just professionally but also personality wise), and he gave me many hints as to what to say in the interview, as he has dealt with the person doing my interview, and as i was leaving he shouted that my personality would shine through...what a gem...a boss that i had for four weeks as a temp so keen to help me...never usually happens...thats why he was a great boss. The interview went actually went ok, i had a laugh with my interviewers, took part in some banter, and name dropped a bit, and put in some of the crucial info that steve told me...so we shall see. i did my written report...and then went back to cds to tell them how it all went.

jonathan came up to meet me, and we did a bit of a grays inn road pub crawl which was quite nice, he cheered me up as i just could have gone home and cried some more...got the last train home - we did leave it quite tight jonathan...

so we shall see what now happens. i know that i should not be that sad about job rejections, but the tears were just a culmination of many many many things and i was just so upset and yes to the persom who left the post...the company are giving me feedback this week, but to be honest the advice that steve gave me yesterday was the best thing that i could have got at that moment...and he filled me with confidence "Zofia you are wonderful, and we really miss you here", what a nice thing for an old boss to say....and i was just a temp.

hey everyone
will talk about pop some other time, just need some mega cheering up right now, cos this week i have found out that i have missed out on two jobs that i was going for - one which i was down at the final round too, and i am feeling really shit to put in bluntly and correctly...but i have to pull myself together as i have another interview in a few hours, so had better go and get ready.

my 1x2 m poster is now completed and currently occupying a lot of space in the lounge - tomorrow, it is coming with me to bristol so that i can put it up in the POP conference - i hope to take a photo of it up at the conference to put on the site!
hope this conference is worth it - its costing enough...am going to go smart as i will be networking, have copies of my CV and the journal paper to sell myself with! ah...what fun!
um....have had quite a slow weekend, been very much poster based, and thats it...waiting to hear from some people about some news which should be fun, and may be popping to see CDS sometime this week too, which should be fun, if i have time to do it...well if not will email them again - they are being very nice to me still - very unusual for a temp - but hey - i was special!
well, have made some directions from maps as to how to get to the backpackers from the bus station. i hope the people who i am sharing with on my first night are nice, and the second night it will just be sarah and i so that will be fine!

anyways, not much else to say

xxx

well, my poster is all laid out, but needs to be stuck down on the actual card now - so it will be done on time - hurrah!

over christmas i was talking to some people in my family about reality telly - now i was in love with strictly, while extended family were in love with the x-factor (many people will be shaking their heads). now i didnt watch the x-factor, but heard (well how can you not have) that leona won - and yes she does have a good voice, but i thought..hmm not to much emotion. i was then told my said family that if i could watch when she rang somewhere over the rainbow if you want to see emotion. with the wonder of youtube (which also has lots of strictly on it!) i found when she sang it yesterday, and boy i was in tears - i really was. obviously this wasnt just her singing it was lots of things, but wow - i was very shocked with myself! it really was superb. however, for someone who went to acting school and has been in recording studios, and already made a cd and has had plenty of experience its not actually THAT surprising that she won!

but the point of that was just to say that yesterday i was very emotional and so it was lucky that i was alone in the house for a lot of the day - cos after i sang to my hearts content which is what i do when i feel pooey!

anyways, better go and do something useful!

wohoo!
accomodation for the POP is now booked. Thanks to bristol backpackers, i am getting two nights in bristol for £32! one night in a shared dorm and another night in a private dorm that I share with sarah as she is driving up very early on tuesday...so what with funfare rates for coaches, travel and accomodation is only costing my £40 - bargain.

now all i need to do is make the bloody poster - i so did not realise just how big 1x2m in poster form is - the answer is huge! i have some printed sheets already, and tomorrow i buy the card to mount it all on, and play around with what i have! will be fun (she says in a semi-sarcastic way). its kindof a nervy thing - to think my peers will see this, and potential people who may want to hire me - its a big thing! oh well, i suppose its an extra thing to have on the cv!

well...thats all for now, not much else to say - weather is crap, but have done my running for the last two days, our windows have been fixed, our boiler has been fixed, so our house is a bit more healthy....and my presents for my two african sisters have been purchased and will be sent tomorrow - i wish i could see their little faces when they open them. i miss them so

am still waiting to hear a few things, its getting a wee bit frustrating now...but who knows what is going to happen.

am now trying to prepare my poster for the POP, i have booked my coach down to bristol and back, and now i am just waiting for sarah about accomodation, but if i have not heard by tom, then i am going to book the back-packers that i found which is pretty cheap...oh well.

anyways, just have my fingers crossed.

have had to wear certain clothes over the christmas and new year period for various reasons, but i got away with it - hurrah!