Tuesday, January 31, 2006

didnt get as much done as i had wanted to tonight, as always found my mind was being distracted by other things, and my level of concentration was poor - never mind, only one lecture tomorrow - a nine oclock annoyance, but it will get me up and working i suppose.

i hope that i can sleep better tonight - i feell tired enough to...and i feel that my mind has been questionned enough already today.
nighty night, am off to the land of nod

oh - and gareth/andy/jon - whichever one of you has now got my peep show, i would like it back so i can finish watching it!
i have been finding it really hard to get to sleep the last few nights, even though i am tired, i lie in bed, and all of a sudden there are a gush of thoughts that leave me thinking, when i should be sleeping - its very annoying, cos all i want to do is sleep!

lectures have started good and proper now, all but one has been interesting which is good. rhian fainted in our lecture today which was very shocking...luckily she landed in a position that was very close to the recovery position.

not much else is going on at the moment...have a nine o'clock tomorrow, and i am trying to sort out my counselling, cos i can make some mondays and not others in the next four weeks, and after those weeks are done, i can do mondays again - i have been offerred invidual counselling, but i was just beginning to feel comfortable in the group, and so it would be nice to carry on with them...anyways

back to the grindstone

Monday, January 30, 2006

yesterday evening was a good night - the cloister lot are back on form, with a much deserved quiz victory, and evening winning team name too - the announcer was surprised as he said - you have actually won something without complaining this week - and indeed we did...and we have our seats reserved for next week, a free round which we use and abuse, and got a lot of carling which the lads drank last night, and i have a bottle of wine - twas a good night, and nice to speak to ben and mark after! then we started a looooonnnnnnggggg game of articulate which got very heated!

today i have had six hours of lectures - how wrong is that? and i have had to miss my counselling to which is so annoying, as its my one time i can just go aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh and the people dont care, and let me just rant.

anyways, thanks to ben for his blog for me today, was lovely my dear, but has given my a huge craving for angel delight cake....mmmmmmmm

anyways, to work i go!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

our flat just set the fire alarm off - tracey let her chicken burn to a cinder...was quite funny really, but our flat stinks of smoke now!!!
well i have had to speak to ben today, as i was worried about him, after the events of evil people last night, but he made me laugh so much...what with yesterday telling the accounts of a squased custard slice by an old lady in her shop mobility vehicle, and today with his well timed comments during mass, he sure does know how to put a smile on my face which is ace...

anyways, this morning i was feeling very good, and was going to write about the fun i had last night, but instead i had to rant at individuals who have very small brain cells....

but last night was so much fun...us crazy post-grads had an evening of.....board games! it started with a game of aritculate - i was paired with andy who got the animal after my descrpiton of "crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside" (answers in my comment box please), but failed to get the writer of Oliver Twist - i mean....come on andy....i lost my first ever game of articulate - gutted!

but all was turned around when i whopped ass on triominoes provided by enrique! i swear, i had to concentrate so hard, but i did it! and thanks to enrique for the provision of Heroes also - i was having a chocolate craving all day yesterday!

today we had a confirmation at church which was so nice, and we sang some beautiful hymns which was good....i have made some lovely friends at chapel, and the choir na dmusic group are having a meal soon, organised by Katie and Jess (two amazing singers) so that should be fun....

pub quiz at the grove tonight - love the pub so it will be good, and lectures start again tomorrow - mondays i have five and a half hours of lectures - wrong i say - and it also means that i am going to be late for counselling which is tres gay...but hey, thats the crazy bisy life i lead right now.

benjamin - dont drink much more, if i need to have a mans mind to use if i have problems yours wont be very coherent for me will it?????!!!!!

take care all you crazy kids
whoever is sick and twisted enough in exeter to say to ben yesterday that from my blog yesterday they inferred that ben means nothing to me, really....they are begging to feel the wrath of zosia, and nobody really wants to feel that....well you dont know what you have actually done do you. if indeed you are really a friend of ben, as you say you are, then you would know that something like that would upset him....and well, if you were trying to turn him against me, then you are going to have to try better than that....i think that it is very clear, seeing as i was talking about dan in that whole paragraph, that when i said to jon, that all day i had been saying - he means nothing to me at all - it was BLATENTLY about dan, especially if you had been reading my blog of the previous days....really its no shit sherlock

if ben meant nothing to me, why do you think that i rang him for advice and to argh to about the whole dan situation - i really do wish that just sometimes people would use the brain cells that God has given them to think things through with, and not to come up with evil plans to be horrible to ben, and maybe try to get them on their side and against mine......? i maybe wrong, but i have the feeling that somebody maybe a bit jealous about the friendship that ben and i have???????

how pathetic can some people be sometimes? and they call themselves ben's friend - yet they seem to be doing him more harm then good? friend - go look the meaning up in the dictionary whoever you are

Saturday, January 28, 2006

well last night was bizarre - good but bizarre

Andy's live gig at bar risa was ace (he played the song i requested) and after i headed to the west side bar to meet ellie, polly and fiona, and rachel...but having got my drink, and going to their table, i walked straight into....wait for it,....Dan! slap bam into him, good hand control avoided spilling of said drink...of all the bars in nottigham we go to the same one! anyways, i chatted with the girls, and we then went to the cookie club across the street...and the next thing i knew, dan was stood next to me, and started a conv....and we got in, i had a good boogie!, and then well, you can all probably kindof guessed what happened....and know i am back to step one...dont know where i stand.....and what funnier is that all day i had been going to jon - he means nothing to me, absolutely nothing!

oh dear...anyways, as with what usually happens in the cookie club, you lose everyone...and i did apart from dans neighbour who didnt want me going home alone, so he paid for my cab...more than dan has ever offered!

today, has been chilled, have done some reading for my new lectures this week, ellie is doing the other book, and then we swap notes...that way we get all the reading done, with half the effort - bonus!

Friday, January 27, 2006

tonight has been interesting to say the least......but has left me fucking confused....anyways, its gine three - time for bed
well, my three last bad boy essays from last term have been given in, and i alomost broke my back carrying all my shopping back from sainsburys today but i had no fruit, no veg, no breakfast cereal, milk or yoghurts, and cheese so i really had to shop.

yesterday i was having a more relaxed day after i had printed and finished off all my essays, and so i was in jons room and decided that a walk needed. now when i said i was going to nottingham all i heard was crime, rape and guns...nothing about really beautiful parks with a tudor house, and deer - but this is where we walked to yesterday - its Wallaton Park, and it was ace:



These are the deer that we saw - well some of them - i was amazed by their antlers - they were huge! jonathon would not let me get closer to them....that was a shame.








The sun was setting, and I thought that this scene was looking really pretty, and the light on the cloud was just so nice, the photo doesnt do it any justice whatsoever which is a bit disappointing, but you cab kindof see how pretty it was (oh and if you consider my love for sunsets).




anyways, so the walk was just lovely - it was just what i needed, and what i wanted to have, and jonathan and andy provided my with great company, and made me laugh and chuckle a lot, which is another thing that i needed.

oh - and last night was the first time i had to turn off the tumble dryer when somebody had put clothes in it - at 11:10 pm - its not fair, and the sign does say please not after ten - they had it coming!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

well, am off to go and print essays and career development plan so they are ready to give in. have been given lecture outlines for one of next semesters modules - looks quite interesting, might be a real loser and do some of the reading for it before the lectures begin on monday, as i have to keep up with reading this semester as most of the modules are exam based! hurrah!
um - peep show arrived today - yay!
and yesterday i was truly miserable - didnt help the doctor told me that i looked stressed and tired...but now i am moving on...i have come to a decision about some things, and am leaving them behind me now, and after a day of wollowing in self pity yesterday i have come to the conclusion that there are other opportunities for me at the moment, and i have to get my life together and move on

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

have just spent two hours writing the biggest pile of crap ever - that being my career development plan, and what my career anchors are and what my myers-briggs personality invemtory tells me what i should do....
i have included two sentences at differing stages of the plan, saying that i want to be a mum so my career will be focussed around this...hahahahaha

right now thats done, i can relax
not in a good mood at all today, so not much to blog, apart from going to the doctors, i have just been sitting in my room, occasionally reduced to tears, writinbg my essay and doing my references, and i am now going to do my career development plan.

not really in the mood for talking, am just feeling shitty

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

ok, am up to 1400, and have gender and culture problems to discuss, and a conclusion, so the 10% extra word count is going to be very handy....have had a big laugh with jon, and made a step towards sorting out my life - Jons goos like that (but annoyingly he has now put on the tumble dryer.....) we shall see if this short step does actually help.

am going to try my hardest to finish essay before cinema, if not, will maybe do it when i get back, or tomorrow morning.

but found my juggling ball - brilliant! i can now practice my three ball juggling again. - hurrah!
ok having had an hour out on campus getting a docs tomorrow, buying milk, and getting an independent for 25p, with a free fairtrade chocolate bar, and a box of aqua-drops - bargain, and had some lunch too! but i am now about 900 words in - i feel i may have too many things to say....

we shall see

am seeing memoirs of a geisha tonight!
ok, its just coming up to one oclock, and i have done just over 500 words, but have just realised i am going to run out of a-ds tom, so need to go to campus and get a doctors appointment pretty quickly.

but essay writing will continue after, and i have it planned out, so it shouldnt be too bad.
last night was a bit of a random night, with a bit of a pub crawl for jons birthday, ending up in tantra which was expensive but nice....had a very deep chat with Gareth which was interesting but needed, as i have been very angry with him for a bit, but thats all sorted and hugged out. met some Polish goal, and spoke polish which i havnt done properly for a long time. surprisingly i dont feel hungover, and i even got the band to sing happy birthday to Jon, which was cool.

have started the essay, when i get bored i will give you a word count update (its only a 1500 worder), i started at 10:50, its now 11:30, and i am on 200 words. go me.

Monday, January 23, 2006

three nights of very crap sleep, does not make zosia the best person to be around, and i am still getting through journals for my essay, i aim to have the essay done by wednesday for sure, am going to plan it today, its not hard, just a bit dull.

Just want to say happy birthday to dear Jonathon of cloister house - thank you for your amazing friendship over the last 4 months - the laughs, the tears, the drunkeness, and the many chats and stupid comments that we have had, but tue support has been "rad"! hope that you have a good day, and we can do your birthday justice tonight.

oh and i am praying for people in Exeter today, for Fr Friends funeral. May he be at peace with God, and let God be with you all today, in what is going to be an emotional service for those going today.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

have just come back from the globe quiz - we didnt win the quiz, but i have still managed to end up with a hawaaiin garland, a southern comfort t-shirt and a disposable camera - i love the globe, its a good pub!

well today i have had some proper hardcore chats with gareth about a few things, trying to sort out my life, but still not getting anywhere,man i cant wait for my counselling tomorrow, its when you miss a week when you realise how good it can actually be. oh man, i hate being in my head, stuck in some nasty vicious cycle that i just cant get out of - its is actually making me ill, and is nasty.

am going to start drafting my essay tomorrow, and may even bash out a few words, you never know.
zosia has been sufferring from foot in mouth syndrome recently...on meeting jons old uni friend who now studies in nottingham, talk was on about the pgsa socials - i said-they were ok, but a bit hmm, and the london trip was so overpriced its untrue - james then kindly told me that he was the social sec of the society, and had arranged all of them...having quite forcefully and drunkly stated my opinion i could not take it back - never mind. that was friday night - the night that threw me into a whirlwind of confusion, with james - who seriously is male model material kept on throwing undersevered compliments my way....anyways, last night i went to bed at ten but couldnt sleep for ages....i missed out on meeting flat 2's new flatmate - thats exciting you know...ben he is from New Zealand - - yay! he may have a lush accent, as i spend a lot of time in flat 2 i am yet to see, but will probably meet him soon.

made a lush smoothie today-orange, pineapple and kiwi - mmm! its all for my eat healthy stretch i am going on, am so determined to get to my target weight - its going to be hard, but giving up chocolate for ment will help, and i walk loads everyday too....and the fact that i am addicted to ryvita so when i cant be bothered to cook, two of them with marmite, celery and cucumber becomes my tea!

anyways, journal reading has already been four times more productive then yesterday which is a bonus, and there is the quiz tonight!
take care my loves
zosia is determined to sort out things once and for all this week, as she cannot go for much longer with the messed up head that she has at the moment.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

today has really not been a very good day at all. first thing - someone put the tumble-dryer on at 6:30 am - who is up on a saturday and doing their washing at that time - anyway, that was bad as i had only got to bed at three, and it kept me awake for the whole cycle, i then managed to sleep on and off for a few more hours...i have now put a note on the door, saying not to use the machine before 8am, and after 10pm, as it is so loud - if it happens again, i am going to turn off the machine, and waste that evil persons money.

as i have been tired today, i have not really had the ability to concentrate on my work, which is bad as i have an essay due this week.

i have also had many things on my mind, which just dont go away, and that has made work hard as well - so much so that i had to get out of my room i was feeling so claustrophobic...so i went to walk about the campus downs, and to sit on campus and just watch people go by in the fresh air.

i have been trying to find a literary quote that sums up perfectly how i feel, but i havnt. the only thing that comes to mind, is I dreamed a dream from Les Mis - its a beautiful song, it really is, and it just shows how life can be so different from what you dream or hope it could be...this is true for me especially today...

i just want to click my fingers and snap out of it, but i cant...missing counselling cos of my exam didnt help, and what was said to me by someone last night just put me into such a confused spin that i just dont know whether i am coming or going
its a sad day when you tidy your room, and you find that you have lost one of your juggling balls - which is what i have just done, and so it is a sad day

have read a journal, confused the hell out of me...eek

but last night was a bit interesting, fun but interesting
have come to a few conclusions about some things
we shall see

Friday, January 20, 2006

hello dear blog
well today, i have been reading about Holland, and his model for vocational preference - its dull i tell you, but am getting through the journals. its going to be a bit of a strange weekend. jon has just finished his exams (hurrah), and he has his literally crazy friend coming up - its only going to be a quiet night tonight, but tomorrow we are celebrating dark-haired polly's birthday as it was really in exam time, and then on monday its jons birthday..so its all a bit eek! my poor cash flow...

anyways, back to the reading now...am v confused as to what to do about dan as i am getting mixed answers from people...why are men so hard to read???? and i why do i have to be so stupidly pathetic about things, and just not be too scared to ask him - it sux so much, but i am just petrified as to the response....

anyways, really it is back to the reading now

Thursday, January 19, 2006

has anyone else noticed that bloggers gone strange? or is it only on my computer.

anyways, this mornings research has proved more useful then i thought, which is good, so i am going to pop to campus cos i am out of milk, need to get my flatmate a birthday card, and get jon his birthday present...

amazon have realised they messed up my peep show order, so are going to give me a discount for it! yay!

and not only have we two fixed showers now, they have removed the nasty mouldy ceiling, are sanding it all down, and are re-painting it for us so it is going to be nice again, a little complaining and a legal threat always gets some action.

anyways, its gone two, and once the cleaner has gone i am going to have my lunch

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

exam not so good, but hey, you win some you lose some, but the pint after was just pure perfection. loved it.
ellie and i are going to partake in some wine drinking and telly watching in flat two...yay...!

essay research tomorrow! no rest!
hurrah - no peep show, but broadgate have finally fixed both of our showers, as flat 5 below us were getting leaks into their flat as our showers would not turn off! two new showers - i can now be very clean

still feeling very sick, will have a good pray later - there must be people who have done less revision then me surely? and this paper should be like past papers?
still no peep show, have written an email to complain.
feel very sick with nerves for this afternoon - for all the religious who read this blog, can you pray for practical interventions, ansence or ageing to come up - ellie and i are bricking it at this point, and i still have only five hours to go before the exam begins which sux so much
will have to have a big pray again.
oh my word - feel so sick

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

oh yeah, another bad thing that has happened - two really - one some stupid horrible nasty nasty people, ripped down the bars on lee's window and stole his lap top yesterday evening when he was cooking his tea - holds his phd work that he has done so far...

....and not so gutting compared to that, but my peep show didnt arrive today - that would have cheered me up no end - i love getting post even if i have paid for it!
good news and bad news.

good news is that i won my poi bid on ebay, so should be getting them soon - they were quite cheap which is good. bad news is i lost the er bid that i had, and so no noah wyle for me - gutted, as i love er and dr carter, and so that was a bit disappointing.
more bad news, is that revision is hard - i am really hedging my bets on ageing or absence coming up, and then applications or interventions coming up - as they are good ones that i like, and they have come up in the last four years and so i am hoping that the paper carries on this year as they have done in the past - it must do surely? so i hope that revision gets better now, so that info can get into my head.

but tomorrow can go drinking after the exam, am much looking forward to that

Monday, January 16, 2006

hello blog
one down one to go. Its so hard to get everything you want to say down in an hour, and i only hope that i have answered the question to a suitbtable level. have been doing essay plans for wednesdays exam this evening, whilst listening to some fabo music. one question i seemed to be going round in cricles with what i was trying to say, so have sent a confused question to my truted ellie to see if she could help me. we were both ok today, social and cultural factors came up for me, and reliabiluty came up for her phew. i had a really good pray with God before my exam today, and it was great, really good time, and i was happy after that.
spent some time in lovely flat two today which was nice, and watched half of the is religion the root of all evil programme - which was utter poo for most of the time. i was so angry with the telly when they said that we do not enjoy this life for fear of what may happen to us in the next life - for me i am enjoying this life doing what i know that God will be pleased with, and living a life that is fulfilled by the fact that I have Gods blessing and love and guidance, and that gives me the extra enjoyment that people without religion cannot experience...

anyways, a few more bits of reading and then bed-time, full day of revision is on the cards tom...

and 4:30 pm exams are stupid times for an exam....not only does it make you get really nervos about the exam all day (you can imagine how bad i was today), but its dark by the time you are sitting the exam, and then your belly begins to rumble! and the one of wednesady finishes at 6:30 - crazy!

must go...hope other peoples exams are going ok, or as well as people hoped
am very scared as just cant seem to remember anything this morning, so basically i am f****d for this afternoon, and its making very anxious indeed. oh dear. i pray that it goes ok, cos i dont want to mess up my masters at the first hurdle which at this moment feels very likely.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

once again, there has been talk and speculation about ben and i either going out/wanting to go out with each other/has been questioned as to why we are not going out. for reasons that i do not have to justify to anyone, and that ben and i have spoken about, we are not going out with each other, and will not be going out with each other.

here in nottingham, i have had a very uninteresting weekend, taken up with revision for my waa module tomorrow (can we pray the social and cultural problems or validity come up), and for my osh module on wednesday (can we pray the ageing workplace/absenteeism/practical interventions come up). bring on wednesday at 6:30 where i will meet up with the rest of my course in the Ark (student bar)...as i am in a different room from them due to the old panic attacks.

have been having an interesting text messaging weekend with dan - i really dont know what is going on here, but still think it would be great if we could give it all another chance, so can people pray for that too - i dont know, i seemed to just really click with him so much, and we just felt so comfortable with each other it was nice. the strange thing is, i am also kindof liking a lot one of my lads in cloister which makes it all so doubly confusing. he is a great lad, and really caring, and always thought that he was so fit, but i am just in such a confused state i really dont know what to do.

anyways, enough rambling, back to the last bit of revision of the day before bed, and revision tomorrow morning, as my exam isnt until 4:30 - just enough time to get my nice and nervous then.

oh and if you havnt listened to anthony and the johnsons yet - do cos they are ace...and my peep show dvd should come tomorrow - and the text book i ordered ages ago to help me with tomorrows exam - sods bloody law.

and also - exeter chaplaincy i prayed for you all this morning, as i knew it would be quite a hard mass for you all, and i will continue praying for you all. I miss the community so much you would not believe, that place did so much for my faith, and i will be forever thankful for it. i also asked fr chris the chaplian here to keep you all in his prayers.

for all other students who have exams coming up soon - i wish you all the luck in the world, remember sleep well and eat well.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

It was really sad to get the email from Fr Paul in Exeter today, about Fr Friend. As I said yesterday, he was such a nice man. When i lived in the chaplaincy he would often wonder over and share some pearls of wisdom with me, or when i was going to lectures or my exams, and he was in the garden he would always say something that would make me laugh and smile, and give me a bit of confidence...it is such sad news, and he will be i am sure greatly missed in the Exeter chaplaincy.

I would just like to say, that although I have not been to Exeter chaplaincy for ages, it is still always in my thoughts, and a place where my faith grew so much, and i have a lot to be thankful for there. I will have Paul, Karen, Pat, and everyone who attends the chaplaincy in my prayers.
If I can come done for the funeral, I will try my best too, although I think that it will be unlikely.

At least we can rest assured in the knowledge that Fr Friend is now in peace with God.

Friday, January 13, 2006

just a prayer request going out for people to pray for Fr Friend in Exeter...i have very funny and lovely memories of him from exeter, and its very sad that he is so ill, so can people who read this blog, take out few minutes to say a pray for him

Thursday, January 12, 2006

good old jonthan

Never one to pass good service, yesterday when Jonathan was at Sainsburys he was impressed, so much so he filled in a customer satisfaction form - and it reads like this:

The cashier Anne, was brilliant. Very polite, friendly and happy. She seemed to enjoy her job and this made me feel special. Her till technique was also exemplary; never going to fast and maintaining a steady rhythm. Well done Anne.

Now thats praise for you.

I have said this to Ben on many occasions - Jon is like my Ben here - they are so alike in many ways its untrue!

have been feeling a bit down today, have succombed to revising the two modules that i said that i would no way revise, and my head is getting all mixed up about such things, and its getting me down - bloody men - always bloody men, sometimes i do think they can be a fecking waste of time, but that doesnt stop me liking them at all does it?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

today, there was no-where to sit in the library - that hardly ever happens - so know it exam week next week...luckily i remembered the code to the i-who common room, and was able to sit in there with nothing and no-one to distract me bar my own thoughts...and there are a few...counselling on monday threw up some mega issues, and i have been panicked into revising another topic that i havnt even looked at and my brain is near saturation level. but had a good old chat with ellie today - it was great and she really calms my nerves...we have a laugh - its naughty but we have a bitch too, and we just generally get on well.

anyways, bed time for the zosh, another day of library fun tomorrow - this time next week ellie and i are planning to be drunk in a gutter somewhere

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

well, sorry havnt blogged for a while, havnt really done much very interesting!

ummm, good things that have happened recently - have found my watch - that was an amazing minute, ben is back in exeter (can now ring and email him, and if i ever meet the person who calls him nasty things, they will feel the wrath of zosia, and nobody wants that), i have given in an essay and my workbook, i managed to write a practice essay in my allocated hour, we had bloody good hymns at mass on sunday - i felt really close to God, and that made me happy, and chris moyles is back on the radio!

bad things - am still completely confused about many situations at the moment, and have no idea what to do, and this time me usually trust worthy lads are being no help whatsoever, i had a really hard counselling group yesterday, and have exams, and revision is boring!

but hey, revision in jons room is good, we both know we have to work so we dont distract each other.

anyways, take care my dears

Saturday, January 07, 2006

i was very excited on my walk to sainsburys at the prospect of buying my white chocolate money that i have been eating, only to find that they were no longer there, as they had been replaced by mini eggs - i was outraged. so i thought that i would go and console myself and buy myself a box of chocolates for 30p like Adrian had the other day - but they were not 30p - so i was doubly gutted.
so instead i got grapes, oranges, clementines, carrots and houmous - mmmmm

we have no showers working in our flat at the moment....never mind, flat 7 have a fabo shower i can use instead

take care my readers - i hope you are thrilled with the wonderful life i am living at the moment

Friday, January 06, 2006

now i dont usually believe in horoscopes, but today when i saw this on the internet, i just thought - oh my word:

You've been in a mood in which you were no longer attracted to the same people, you were unsure of yourself at work, and even wondered if your own attractiveness had deserted you

how crazy...over the last few days, i have been feeling crazy, and just when i say one thing, something happend which makes me think that maybe something is supposed to be - i mean, its bizarre and all very criptic, but i dont really want to explain things more cos i am not in the mood.

went to mass this morn - chapel dave drove me which was very nice of him, then did a three hour study group which was good, and have been revising validity this afternoon-its all so joyous i tell thee

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Am back in nottingham now - have been for the last few days..and have been working quite hard - yesterday i had a study group with some of my girls, and we have booked another room to have another one tomorrow which is good. i had to come home earlier today as people in the library didnt batter an eyelid when my phone went off, but they did when my stomach was rubbling, so back home i came...and Gareth had picked up my package for me - my BBC adaptation of P&P came today - anyone who knows me just one tiny bit will know just how happy that made me. has been good seeing the lads again, and we all know that we have to work quite a bit for the next few days, and so are being really good about it.

was very down yesterday as i just could not seem to remember anything, and felt a bit shit for a few reasons, and whatever i did i just couldnt get myself out of the bad down mood i was in, and i did a few silly things, that i dont really want to go into, they were just silly..one person knows, but hey. anyways, that was yesterday, am taking each day as it comes i suppose, thats the best surely.

anyways, back to the old grindstone.

chocolate money is getting me through revision - its so yummy, and 75% off at the supermarket - will be making another trip to get some more i tell you. and if anyone knows where you can get those little glow in the dark sticker stars can you tell me, as my ceiling of my room, is the one space that is not so decorated, and i dont like it! thank you

Monday, January 02, 2006

Happy new year fellow blog readers
i hope that 2006 will be a truly fabo year for you all, and i wish you all the luck, helath and happiness for the next 12 months...

this year i:
hope to get my masters....thats the biggy, and what i am working my socks off towards
hope to improve my confidence, so that i can actually get somewhere in this world and not let all the little things knock me back all the time
reduce my dose of the anti-d's
and follow my heart in various matters...like people keep telling me to but i am too scared to (revert back to resolution 2)
lose a bit more weight (was happy when people noticed the loss from last term)
and be there for people when they need me, and in that way improve friendships with those near and far away

so not a lot then....

back to nottingham tomorrow, been working on my workbook this morning, need to see my girls to go over a few answers that i am unsure about

my Lesotho team rang the other day - its bizarre this time last year i was just getting to know them, but now i have spent an unbelievable four months with them, and each gave me challenges and tested me, but i love them all dearly and the fact that they missed me as i couldnt meet them, made me very teary, but singing and speaking sesotho down the phone was ace....

and well, i just really hope things start looking up for the people i care for and myself
i hope that my gran stays ok, she has been very teary this holiday, especially when wishing me all the luck this year - the amount of faith she has in my ability is scary
i hope that the nottingham lads and girls continue to do well, and have fun and laughs on the way
i hope that ben realises what a fantastic man he is, and what a true friend he has become, and how much i admire him, and his courage
i hope norris understands that we all support and care for him
and that exeter people remember that I think about them greatly, and even though its very hard for me to come and visit its not because i dont want to

and i hope that maybe something can be done in the world, that there can be a glimpse of peace, and greater justice in areas that need it, so little children like baby jozefa can enjoy a good life, and have a little love