my grandad and grandma were married 55 years ago today - thats an amazing amount of time to spend with somebody - i look up to them. my babcia was teary - none of us expected my grandad to still be with us today. i have noticed a huge deterioration from before i went to nottingham - i lie to my nan when she asks me if i have seen a difference - i dont want to upset her even more, i told my mum that i had seen one - she knows anyway, she has got used to it.

today, i also found the cd of photos that James made me when i left exeter, it was a flash-back to real good times that I had in my third year, with people that i really did and still do love. but then i thought, well out of the hard-core four of us that used to be there talking to stupid hours in the night, and having a laugh and great hugs with, i am only still in contact with one of them. not for the want of trying with the other two, but there is only so much you can try, and when you get nothing back, it does get upsetting, and there is only so much upset that you cab go through. i will always be there for these people if they need me, whether they will be there for me is another matter entirely.

have been revising this holiday - can we pray that in WAA - social and cultural factors in testing comes up as that is one lecture that I really understand and was fascinated by - have set up a study group for nest week for this module, as i am not getting many ding moments. also, for OSH can we pray that elderly come up, and any of practical implementations, or absence from work, as they are quite chunky chapters too. revision is dull as you can imagine, but hey, it has to be done, i want to do well. if anyone remmebers my final revision, they will know that i liked the whiteboard in the blue room - well today i got myself a white board to scribble and do spider diagrams on - i know the lads will end up drawing all over it - its so obvious.

and well, there is not much else to report. am looking forward to seeing my lads again, i have really missed them, its strange just how well you get to know people in three months, but when we left for the break, it was really sad to say goodbye, and this was only for what 10 days - am dreading september when we will be going our seperate way - but that is nine months away - will cross that bridge when we get to it.

and have had some long chats with people, and they all keep telling me to follow my heart, and i know that i should, but it might be very painful to do...oh i am so confused, i need a jonathan and gareth chat to kick me into gear.

oh yeah - on boxing day my grandads brother died (the grandad who died a few years ago). my dad heard the news first thing in the morning, it wasnt great, so can we pray for his wife, and the family. and pray for Norris, so that he gets better and pray for Ben who is worrying me amazingly, and i hope that he realises that things are not his fault, and we all love him for the great man that he is.

have a good new years people...i will probably be in bed - the exciting girl that i am...revision is very tiring

well today is the day that i say goodbye to nottingham who has treated me very well for the past 12 weeks, but it is time to go home for a few weeks, and spend some time in a different environment...and it is about time too if i am beong honest, as i have been getting increasingly sick of my room, and finding revision hard to do here, so hopefully at home it will be better for me.
have to do all of my christmas shopping tomorrow - dont have a clue what i am getting people yet - never mind.
have lots of luggage to take home too - oh my word, getting on the train will be funny (thats after i have used the good old national express)
anyways, home today, but i shall continue blogging at home
but here is the christmas tree at the grove that we were appreciating so much at the weekend:





ok so its not a great tree, but it provided us with a lot of amusement at the weekend, especially the blue flashing lights....





you see the only other christmassy photos that i have were these:












absolutely brilliant - ellie and polly and i were loving the mistletoe!

sitting in flat 2 and talking to adrian tonight, not only did i realise that i really dont have a clue as to what i want to do when i have finished the masters, but i also realised that i dont know why i am doing this masters in the first place, and i also realised that i am beginning to think like an older person...all these things scared me. It was a strange but insightful conversation, but luckily adrian realised that this had panicked me somewhat, and so knew to stop and watch the cathy tate show instead - good call.

anyways, today was more revision, and a realisation for next term to do the reading for the module that week, so its not a big rush now (running to the library is not something that i want to do a lot). anyways, i have read extra reading for each of my lectures now (for stress module), and revision notes have been made, key principles are understood for all, its all a matter of name and fact learning, and hopefully fingers crossed that wont take too long - its also a process of realising when lectures may overlap somewhat which they do which is quite exciting..i particularly like the problem of the ageing workforce (there isnt actually a problem as Griffiths-1997, and Warr 1994/1996 point out, its all to do with the changing of the attitudes in the workplace-Hodgeson -1997), and the problem of absenteeism as a practical implication of stress in the workplace, and so I am praying that they come up in the exam - can others pray for that too.

anyways, am very tired - have worked my brain hard today
miss my daily email from ben, will just have to daily text i suppose - its amazing what a great mate he has become, people in exeter are lucky to have him around.
revision tomorrow - home thursday - brilliant

dont feel very christmassy - may have to start singing christmas carols to myself - Polish and English ones!

quick post before bed as i am very tired...

today has been a boring but useful day - i have started my revision notes, and whilst doing this have been reading some of the journlas to take out a few handy names to put into an answer, and its been quite interesting - actually forgot that i had been taught some of this - bodes well

anyways, thats what has been going on. just watched some telly with who remains in the building - well only jon and dave out of the lads have gone home...so watched nottigham win on uni challenge (mini yay!), and then have i got news for you - the intellectuals we are.

tomorrow, more revision notes call me!

never mind, its good really

its amazing what not understanding something, sitting in the middle of your floor, brainstorming and scribbling spider diagrams can do - well thats what i did with essay number ive lost count now, and i have 2000 odd words on a page, with a few weeks to change anything i want to.

after that i put all my work into folders, now the reading for three essays was too much for one lever arch file - ridiculous i thought! but all my 6 files i have are full of work, and other folders too! now tomorrow morning, i can just pick up my osh file (organisations, stress and health) and toddle off to the library and start my revision notes - hurrah! it should be ok, as it was an interesting seminar, just badly taught, and a lot of names to remember, but it should be ok - i say that now but....

anyways, my room is now bordering on what can be called tidy, and I found the Camus quote that Jon printed for me ages ago:

"Don't walk behind me: I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me: I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend"

Jons my man for quotes, its quiet here without him...but i am interested in what food (if any) he has left in his cupboard - might go and investigate!

well, yesterday, it was the last day of term, and i had just given in many essays, and after reading journals and napping in the afternoon, and cooking a meal for jon and andy in the evening, and watching the last in the series of the excellent peep show, we decided that it was time to go out, and so go otu we did. we went to a place we had never been to before, but it was too busy, and so instead we went to The Grove - one of our favourite pubs.

(Me Kev and bar staff behind
bar)

Now a few weeks ago at the quiz, i managed to blag two bottles of wine free! yesterday i attempted to see if the magic could work again! we got there, and got in a round of drinks, and when i saw our Kev, i went for a chat, and the blagging began (as I still have not received my cuddly toy that i won in the quiz aaaagggeeesss ago), i even got to stand behind the bar. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after chatting to Kev, all the staff and the landlord, they gave me a present from the christmas box - this provided us with a lot of joy - it was an inflatable traffic cone! when two o'clock came, it was time to depart, and on the way out, i was given a bottle of red wine! now that is what i call a good night! thanks Kev - you are indeed a great manager, and the Grove is a great pub - recommend it to anyone who goes to Nottingham! so that was my night



Oh will you look how happy i am! Persistance pays off! So does wearing a pretty skirt, kitten heals, and a pretty black top!





Well, today, i have been doing another essay. I had gotton myself a bit confused in what i was trying to say however, so after siitng down and re-reading plenty of journals - i am there. Apparenlty socially desirable responding does not effect criterion validity (in that it doesnt effect how the measure of personality is made), but it does have an affect on construct and predictive validity (in how decisions are made, and how well and individual will perform at the job). and thanks to the boys, I have new music on my computer, from really cool people that is stuff that i like.

anyways, after my essay breakthrough i am quite tired, but the ability to scribble and spider diagram is amazing, and i now have all the ideas to write, and only 1000 words to write them in! (as i have done 1000 words already) - that will be sunday then, and monday tuesday, wednesday - revision! wohoo!

mmm...left over christmas dinner is sooooo good. just had some roast potatoes, sausages and stuffing and it was lush....and this was because last night we had our flat christmas dinner, and it made me realise just how much i love my flatmates - seriously we had such a good time, and it was sad when we all went to bed at the end of the night

the food - which i really have to thank Cathy for was absolutely gorgeous - i mean top quality, and the mulled wine - fabulous too. I dont think i have told you about my flat mates so here we go - Cathy and I are the two English girls, Tracy is Chinese, Agatha and Garima are from India, Ritah is from Ghana, and Beebee is from Uganda. we had a really fun time, dancing, singing, hugging, playing stupid games and taking lots of photos that i will now display:



Isnt this cool! its like 7 heads looking down at you - well it is 7 heads looking down at you, but i think that this is such a clever idea!













The seven of us in our lovely kitchen - ok
back row: Me, Ritah, Garima (left to right)
Front row: Cathy, Tracey, Beebee, Agetha (left to rigt)

and these are my girlies who put up with me day in day out - and i love them







just given in fifteen credits of work, its the last day of term, and i am going to finish reading the journals for my essay i am starting tomorrow!

hello dear blog and blog readers...

i would like you to think back to last month, when I was sitting at this desk going - what the hell was the positivist contribution to psychology, and that it was driving me mad...(if you cant remember look on my backdate post thing)

well today, i got the essay mark back. now, i really didnt think that this essay was good, i would have been happy with a 60/62 something like that, at masters level, i wouldnt sniff at that...but to get 78% was just ridiculous - i mean crazy - just insane! i nearly cried, i still cant believe it. Now i was told the department now has high expectations of me - i told them not to...! i have never, and probably will never get anything like that again!

so that put me in a good, if not somewhat perplexed mood

BEWARE.....BAD BAD BAD MOOD RANT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN....IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THEN CHANGE THE PAGE NOW.....

right, now there are some things that are fair in the world, like when you pay for sic packets of crisps you do actually get 6 packets, and when you buy a chocolate bar, you get a chocolate bar....

so why is it then when you pay an extortinate amount of money for a one year course from a university that has supposedly got an amazing reputation for teaching standards - you do not get what you paid for????? i mean this is crazy, and i am so angry it is untrue. we gave in an essay - 18th novemnber - feedback and result meant to be last week - we didnt get them - reason being "we havnt marked them"...now if students say we havnt done them, immediate penalty for us...so why dont the tutors get a penalty for doing the same to us - why cant we get some of our money back? now whilst the rest of the occ psych people get there results and feedback today - i dont get mine till tomorrow - giving me under 24 hours to chnage 3 essays if i have to - dependent on the feedback i get...i mean, that is totally crazy

i am so pissed off with this its untrue. i have sent stinking emails to the student reps and to student support, but nothing is changing.

seriously, i am in such a bad mood. the anger is creating steam coming out of my ears....and i hate getting like this, but the amount that i am paying for this years education, and this stupid amount of work that I am doing, it would be good if the uni stuck to their side of the agreement and gave us the support that we were promised.

i am just ****ed of, and its really getting to me...the person who i do go for feedback with tomorrow is really going to get an earful i swear...and my poor computer has heard such foul language today, that if it was a human, i would have received several slaps in the face

i have warned people around me of my bad mood...am going to work till its out of my system.

have been very disappointed with my lack of work today...i found some journals in the morning, then went to a revision lecture...after that i came back home, and did some more journal searching,. and then read 8 journals about social desirability, and have finally got a bit fo a feel as to what this essay may be about - hurrah! i then went to the Festival of Lessons and Carols at a church in town - it was run by the uni chaplains, and it was great...if i didnt have a stinking cold, and hadnt had a nose-bleed during the service, i would have gone for a drink somewhere in the lace market , oh and the fact that i hadnt been so teary during the service too - there is something very moving about christmas carols
but i do have a sticking cold - the dizziness has gone, and so has the blocked ears, but i cant really breathe and my throat is soooo sore....stocked up on boots imitation lemsip (for me and ellie who is also poorly), and lockets etc, to get me through this last week of term

rang my mum up for her birthday - my bro and his wife did her a birthday meal, and my other bro (whos birthday it is next week) was also there - she happily told me that she was so happy she had all her children around her....i then pointed out that i wasnt there hence the phone conversation - boy at that moment - i felt so loved.

anyways, am just finishing my lemsip to make me cosy for bed, have a 9 o'clock tom (revision lecture) and then more journal reading - and hopefully less lempsip consumption will be needed.

and just a photo to make my blog entry pretty:




ah the grove pub after a quiz, the night i flirted two bottles of free wine...and a lot of christmas tree appreciation was going on....tis a good pub.

why isnt lemsip working? i am feeling so miserably ill, and the research for my essay is hard...am feeling pooey...but our flat is doing a christmas dinner on thursday which is mega exciting, and so that will be nice!

was sent some photos of thursday today, and this was a nice one that made me smile...so here it is...one of the girls



















why was i smiling so much all that night - thats a size 8 dress i am wearing! no way am i an eight, but a well placed shawl hid a mulititude of sins!
a little more research and then bed for me i think!

i hate being poorly...but i well and truly have a cold. and i have been lemsipped up for the last few days. today my ears feel all blocked. yesterday i was very husky voiced, but as only two of us knew the magnificat (all you exeter guys will know it), i had to duet it - brilliant...that was the end of my voice yesterday. but work continues. have just done the abstracts and key words for the essays i am to give in this week, and formatted them in the way that the uni wants, and now i am back on the essay journal hunt for the role of social desirability in personality assessment - its a joy i tell you.

anyways, have to buy more cold and flu relief, i had the last sachet this morning, and i am almost out of kiwi fruits too - the world is a vitamin c reduced place at the moment

i love it when a plan goes right.
today i was to get up early, go to the library and write my essay...and that is what has happened, and i am happy, cos thats another one done! i was also surprised when in the afternoon dan came into the library, the only available computer (i kid you not) was the one opposite me, and so he sat there. Now at that time, i was doing a mini-dance to the song on my mini-disc to make polly sat next to me laugh! but after he came over and chatted to me which was nice...

anyways, as promised some pictures of thursday to prove that i do have female friends here at nottingham, and that i have not turned into a ladette completely




This is Vicky, Rachel and Me! Vicky does occupational health psychology and first spoke to me because she liked my scarf! Rachel is the girl who has gotton engaged and who's wedding we will be attending next August.







This is me Rhian and Blonde Polly. They both do occupational psychology with me. They are both lovely girls.







This is dark haired Polly (yep there's two Pollys), Emily and me. Polly does research methods and so we dont have many lectures, but she shares my love for Narnia, and has me in stitches (and ate a whole pot of Nutella on thursday afternoon). Emily does Occ Psych like me and is lovely, and we always do the same essays, and love planning them.






This is Ellie and I under misletoe obviously. Ellie is the first english person i spoke to in Nottigham, and is in my tutor group and the best person to moan to over a bar of chocolate...she is also the girl i set up with Jon, and doesnt care that Jon and I spend all our time together, and is just lovely, and best of all always up for sitting in on friday night drinking wine, watching ace friday night telly!



there are more, but not that i could photo, as by then we were all a wee bit merry and things were getting silly, oh if only you could see all of my photos....

anyway i am going to find people, and be happy that i am another essay down

my homeowrk this week is a nightmare - just tried to do it, but failed...
found some good articles for my essay i am writing tomorrow, am now going to go home to plan it
am coming down with a cold...my throst feels like someone has walked up and down it with spiked shoes on
last nights do was good - will put photos on soon, to prove that i do have female friends too - although got quite emotional about lots of things, but especially when people kept sayin "if only dan saw you now, then he will see what he left behind" - gutted, i am truly gutted, but life goes on.

chatted to gareth this morning, it was great and he gave me a huge hug as ever - the ever reliable hugger he is

hometime!

zosh

spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for the break that will make it ok. there's alwyas some reason to feel not good enough, when its hard at the end of the day.

some beautiful words, from a beautiful song

i am worried about a few people at the moment - obviously Norris, I pray that he hangs on in there through this especially tough time for him at the moment. I pray for Ben too. Now Ben and I are very good friends, but he needs all those around him to really support him right now. There is only so much i can do over the phone. Now, i have tried to contact a few people in Exeter who i thought would help him, but some people havnt responded to me which is sad - not just about this but about many things, and i dont know what i have done to upset them so that they dont respond. i hope that these two people are supported in exeter

people keep on asking me what i want for Christmas, i want my friends to be happy, and have the support that they need for this.

have a ball tonight which should be fun - ben, i was half asleep when i spoke to you last night, and so i may not be able to phone you tonight my love as i will be out - am so sorry to let you down. but i am looking forward to the ball, it should be a good night. havnt quite decided what i am wearing yet, but i hope that it will be nice whatever it is. ellie and polly have said that stupid dancing will occur - ace i am queen at stupid dancing! and i sent an essay plan to a lecturer this morning, she said that it looked ok which is pretty cool! i like that!

anyways, better get back to the reading

look after yourselves, but most importantly also each other

well, i was going to say how my mood has been quite good over the past few days, and that i had been feeling a lot more posotive about things, and on sunday i was scarily happy, that the lads were wondering what was wrong (i even managed to flirt two free bottls of wine from kev), and on monday my researcyh about violence in the work place was quite successful so this cheered me...
but i knew it wouldnt last long, yesterday i heard some news that shocked and upset me, and i found it very hard to sleep last night, and i am knackered today - am going to go home and nap. got a formal tomorrow, i hope that i get in the mood for it.

anyways, better go

i dotn know why, but over the last few weeks i always seem to be a little emotional at mass, i alsways feel like i am going to cry, i dunno, maybe cos its like i am much closer to God then...its kindof like a nice safe emotional place to be in though which i think can only be good
have been going over lecture notes...and saying to people its not revision just a memory guider! i feel a bit essayed otu at the mo, so have done some research, but hardcore research will start again tomorrow
am workin jons room - he is the biggest procrastinater ever - so i am making him work - we if he doesnt finish the essay, he is not doing the quiz - both way we lose!
tara my crazy kids

CLOISTER HOUSE PANDEMONIUM RULES AS EVER

Well last night, as i had told a few people, as all my assessed essays for the end of term have been written, was a time for drinking...and as usual it was in flat two, as friday night telly is a must to watch, what with Have I got News for You, the Peep show, and Johnathon Ross and Jules Holland...its great. Ellie came round, a trip to the Spar was had....and then havoc wreaked as always with the crazy cloister house brigade.....



Now a month or so ago, i was challenged by Dave to the Pringle challenge - his friends did 17 - i mathched them...but this picture shows just how much pain managing 18 pringles at one time can be! I nearly choked, Dr Dave was getting ready to Heimlick manouver me, but i did the girls proud and perservered and beat Daves mate! oh i was proud - i was nearly crying i was laughing so much, and with a mouth full of pringle you can see why i nearly choked!


The reason (and some not shows) as to why pandemonium occurred yesterday night! and why i may have accepted the pringle challenge - but the spar did us proud!








Nearing the end of the night - Dave was showing us the he belived that he had flying skills, Gareths hair looks like he has been electrocuted(but that is what it always looks like), Jon was trying to convice us that he was Chris Martin (all in his head), Ellie was telling us about her par-vegetarianism (damn those sausages), Laura was letting us play with her amazingly long hair, and I - well i was still recovering from pringle stuffing. Adrian was the only one i trusted with the camera!

And that was my friday night! a good night had by all...and my body still woke me up at 7:30 - damn it...but i have found some good articles about workplace violence (my next essay), and now i am doing some revision notes, for stress! brilliant!

take care my loves
remember - drinking this amount of alcohol is not recommended and i do not support such behaviour...i recommend staying in the government recommended weekly intake (spreading it across the week obviously), and detest the binge-drinking culture that students are asssociated with...but as is our line "We are not students.....we are post-grads" - oh yes - there is a difference!

hurrah!
i finished the essay this morning! well i can tweak it next week, but 2000 odd words are on a page! well done me!
have just gone to a cv workshop which was very helpful indeed, as my cv was crap, and i am now going to do my home work for my work book, which seems full of calculations - luckily i have found my calculator and no longer have to use my phone - which was poo cos it doesnt have a square route!
anyways, i think there might be some drinking tonight, but not in the same measures as our benjamin - provided me with plenty of laughs!

well i left the library at 8:40 this evening...i was so determined to get the essay finished, but i didnt, as my stomach was rumbling so audibly people were turning to look and see where it was coming from...so i made my way home and got soaked, and kind jon let me use his toastie machine as i couldnt be bothered to cook anything proper...i have just opened my chocolate advent calendar and i get a crunchie celebration each day - yum!
so will definately finish essay tomorrow, have got to finish explaining grounded theory as an alternative to the quantitative experimental method, and conclude saying that researchers are always going to be influenced by the paradigm that they are working in...!brilliant! am also getting my cv checked tomorrow, and doing my homework! the life of a masters student is fun indeed!

got up early this morning so that i could get a good chunk of essay done before camous today, but this had failed..am just having writers block, and its really infuriating...having said that, i have now reached the half way 1000 words which is nice, and i do kind of know what i am cncluding now, its just all that stuff in the middle that I have to get in. having described causality and the experimental method, i have now said that forms of selection bias can occur, meaning that the researcher can bias the causal relationship in relation to the direction they want the results to occur....and now i should be talking about the interpretation of results...i can see that this is really thrilling to the rest of you!
and my head ache has gone which is good, and my neck isnt hurting that much today either - result.

anyways, am going to see if i can bash out a few more words now