this was meant to be written yesterday...
....but yesterday was very hectic, so its a day late...BUT its been five months and one day since i have taken any medictaion for my depression! and do you know what...in those last few months there have been many many many mnay many many many many many many many many many many things that could have got me back onto them, but i have decided against them, and to tackle the problem head on, and at the moment im dead chuffed.
well...one thing is still stopping me being extremely chuffed, and if that person is reading this, then i hope that they have taken note of my blog a few posts ago, cos i want it sorted before i go away to africa, and thats only one week now...
and we (well Cathy from my team!) is getting Lesotho shirst printed for us - how mega is that (i think that i am far more excited about that then i should in fact be!)
hmmm - i was just proud of myself for once, and its not that often when i am happy with me for something that I have done, but i am today, and i wanted to blog it, so others can share that with me...and for people who lived with me this time last year will know that I was truly in a bit of a state, well they can now see that i am taking it slowly, but have taken those promising first few steps.....
I am PhD Student...I like gin. I am getting over a tough few years, and I talk about Taize a lot.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
mega exciting!
today, i went into my emails, just thinking i would have nothing - but i have received the most amazing email, giving details of the work that I will be doing in Africa - and its mega mazing....we have an orientation week, of which one evening in an introduction to regional music with DJ Waza! - i mean how fab!...we have an intorduction evening where we get a new name (as if i need another name - but we get a Sesotho name), we get a guided tour of Maseru (the capital of Lesotho where SU is based, and where we will be camped for a lot of our trip), we get a traditional Basotho meal, we get to learn some Sesotho (could be useful), to visit the churches we will be going to and training anf debriefing, and meeting the SU staff and a lot of training! All in one week!
in march have an introduction with the school we will be wrking at, day visits to places, we have easter, and a drama workshop.
April is a lot of school works , but we have free time too (and the girls last year said school work was in the mornign, and so you can do orphangae work in the afternoon).
In May there is school work, and cell group work, and then training days, and two days holiday (saturdays are always free for us to do what we want)
June just sounds fab - we have a village experience for a week, camp preparation, and we get to inspect the campsite, we then get our weeks holiday, we then have a conferenceand at the end of the month, we have the School camp.
Then July, we have the holiday bible club, farewell, and then we are back home....
so thats a brief thing of what we are doing, and how cool does it sound...am very excited, but very nervous too...it all looks good, but i am scared that i wont be as good as I could be...or as good as people think that I should be...i suppose i am just a bit anxious about it all, but it looks like we are well cared for, and the fact that they have it planned for us, just shows how much they care, and for what i should be truly thankful for i suppose....
anyways, just thought that I should share that all with you, cos i have been banging on about my Africa trip for some time, and i thought that I should tell you a bit about what i will be doig out there, and now i hav emy timetable, what better time is there for that!
love you all
zosh
x
today, i went into my emails, just thinking i would have nothing - but i have received the most amazing email, giving details of the work that I will be doing in Africa - and its mega mazing....we have an orientation week, of which one evening in an introduction to regional music with DJ Waza! - i mean how fab!...we have an intorduction evening where we get a new name (as if i need another name - but we get a Sesotho name), we get a guided tour of Maseru (the capital of Lesotho where SU is based, and where we will be camped for a lot of our trip), we get a traditional Basotho meal, we get to learn some Sesotho (could be useful), to visit the churches we will be going to and training anf debriefing, and meeting the SU staff and a lot of training! All in one week!
in march have an introduction with the school we will be wrking at, day visits to places, we have easter, and a drama workshop.
April is a lot of school works , but we have free time too (and the girls last year said school work was in the mornign, and so you can do orphangae work in the afternoon).
In May there is school work, and cell group work, and then training days, and two days holiday (saturdays are always free for us to do what we want)
June just sounds fab - we have a village experience for a week, camp preparation, and we get to inspect the campsite, we then get our weeks holiday, we then have a conferenceand at the end of the month, we have the School camp.
Then July, we have the holiday bible club, farewell, and then we are back home....
so thats a brief thing of what we are doing, and how cool does it sound...am very excited, but very nervous too...it all looks good, but i am scared that i wont be as good as I could be...or as good as people think that I should be...i suppose i am just a bit anxious about it all, but it looks like we are well cared for, and the fact that they have it planned for us, just shows how much they care, and for what i should be truly thankful for i suppose....
anyways, just thought that I should share that all with you, cos i have been banging on about my Africa trip for some time, and i thought that I should tell you a bit about what i will be doig out there, and now i hav emy timetable, what better time is there for that!
love you all
zosh
x
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Good news!
Well first things first...on sunday i went to dinner in london with Liz (Andrew's girlfriend), and Dav (Peter's fiance), cos we only get to see each other when my two brothers are also there, and so we decided that we should have a girlie evening...and Dav has been collecting these vouchers where we could get a meal out in London at a very reduced price. So on Sunday to Victoria i went to meet Dav and Liz, and we went to a lovely restaurant, which served traditional English food, and the drinks that you could get were mainly Traditional ciders - it was goooood. my meal without the vouchers should have been £14 without alcohol, my meal with alcohol was £7! bonus! a good evening was had by all, apart from the scary train ride home due to scary drunk men on a sunday night, but i just stare them out...have got used to drunk people on trains when i came home from work late, but this was a different route i was taking.....
anyways, my really good news is - and i kindof hinted it a few days ago, but i have now got the official confirmation letter is that i have been accepted to do my post-grad. I have kept this a bit quiet on my blog for fear i would not get it, and then have egg on my face...but Nottingham University have accepted me to do their MSc in Occupational Psychology! and they rejected me for my original degree, so to get in now is just fab - i didnt even have to have an interview or anything! so it is all very exciting, and a big wieght off my mind to find out before i go to Africa...
ah...Africa...i think that I have sent most of you my address now...if i havnt then tell me and I will send it to you, as i would truly love post when i am out there...and if anyone has any good photos of me and them, or of any Cathsoc events, or of any of my recent trips down could they email me them, so i can print them off and take them...
finally i found this the other day on a notebook, so i am using that notebook as my diary for Africa - "be the change you want to see in the world" (ghandi)...how lovely is that?
Well first things first...on sunday i went to dinner in london with Liz (Andrew's girlfriend), and Dav (Peter's fiance), cos we only get to see each other when my two brothers are also there, and so we decided that we should have a girlie evening...and Dav has been collecting these vouchers where we could get a meal out in London at a very reduced price. So on Sunday to Victoria i went to meet Dav and Liz, and we went to a lovely restaurant, which served traditional English food, and the drinks that you could get were mainly Traditional ciders - it was goooood. my meal without the vouchers should have been £14 without alcohol, my meal with alcohol was £7! bonus! a good evening was had by all, apart from the scary train ride home due to scary drunk men on a sunday night, but i just stare them out...have got used to drunk people on trains when i came home from work late, but this was a different route i was taking.....
anyways, my really good news is - and i kindof hinted it a few days ago, but i have now got the official confirmation letter is that i have been accepted to do my post-grad. I have kept this a bit quiet on my blog for fear i would not get it, and then have egg on my face...but Nottingham University have accepted me to do their MSc in Occupational Psychology! and they rejected me for my original degree, so to get in now is just fab - i didnt even have to have an interview or anything! so it is all very exciting, and a big wieght off my mind to find out before i go to Africa...
ah...Africa...i think that I have sent most of you my address now...if i havnt then tell me and I will send it to you, as i would truly love post when i am out there...and if anyone has any good photos of me and them, or of any Cathsoc events, or of any of my recent trips down could they email me them, so i can print them off and take them...
finally i found this the other day on a notebook, so i am using that notebook as my diary for Africa - "be the change you want to see in the world" (ghandi)...how lovely is that?
Monday, February 21, 2005
Its snowing!
its snowing and its very exciting as it seems to be settling too! i am very excited!
had some very funny text messages last night..."ps - i am very intoxicated" but i had to stop texting for fear i may have my phone stolen as was on a train home from London, with a scary man sittign near me....
but its snowing and is very exciting...
will tell more of why i went to london later on....
i have to watch the snow...
i love snow
its snowing and its very exciting as it seems to be settling too! i am very excited!
had some very funny text messages last night..."ps - i am very intoxicated" but i had to stop texting for fear i may have my phone stolen as was on a train home from London, with a scary man sittign near me....
but its snowing and is very exciting...
will tell more of why i went to london later on....
i have to watch the snow...
i love snow
Sunday, February 20, 2005
exciting...
i feel that i should say a few thank yous to everyone who kindly looked after me, and met up with me on my last hectic visit to Exeter. Tessa and Rachel, thanks for a lovely thursday morning...you both have lovely houses (very clean, I was very impressed), and i had a lovely time catching up with your news, and just having a chat in general - and Tessa - you are a great spotter to have around (i think you might know about who i am talking about here - what a lovely view that was!!!) To Amy and Ali, thanks for a lovely saturday lunch and chat - it was like the first and second year all over again - the trio re-united...it was just fab seeing you again, and for you both to be so happy, just makes me happy. And Amy it was wicked seeing you again my love, miss you tonnes, and it makes me so happy that you are still happy, and have the things that you want. To Kat and Claire...wow it was ages since i last saw you guys, but it was great to see you - just as chirpy and as funny and as lovely as i remember - good luck girlies...To Ed and hid housemate Hannah (who i had met before, and looked after in my Freshers Week - i made her a bed out of shower curtains!!!), thanks for a lovely saturday night, and Ed thanks for the meal, it was very yummy. To Lisa - i always have a bed to lay my weary head on! To the Chaplaincy for sponsoring me - wow thanks guys thats a lot of help, and thanks for putting up with my singing once again...will miss that place. To James, Ella, Mark, the Ben' s and Norris - well guys thanks as always for making me laugh and feel welcome, and providing a house so close to shops, and the chaplaincy, and a house that is generally great to bum in! you're all so lovely and just thanks guys....and to anyone who i forgot i am sorry...but i just love it down there, and i am always made to feel so welcome. I will miss you all, and will forward my address soon, so when i am feeling lonely under the African skies, I hope that I will have your letters to cheer me up, and remind me of home.
and ben - the les mis was a lovely surprise and cheered me up no end - continue going to seminars - its all good in the end.
well i have had some exciting news, but i am going to wait for the official confirmation before i blog what it is cos i dont want to tempt fate - but it is very exciting and I am very happy about it...and as soon as i get confirmation than i will tell you what it is...
the other day my bros took me out for a goodbye meal in London without the parents so that we could have a good sibling chat. it was a really good evening, and I will miss my brothers so much when i go. And tonight I am going to dinner with their girlfriends - so that should be quite interesting...
and i went to my nans yesterday and what she said was like music to my ears "Zosia, I think that you have lost weight - you are looking thinner!" - hurrah! thats what i like to hear - and my nan only speaks the truth...
and well, i have been feeling a bit down recently, there is so much going on at the mo, its untrue, but i am getting there, and trying the best that I can to be a friend to everyone who needs me at the mo, and if I fail at that then I am sorry, but I am trying my hardest. we all have our off days, and our on days, but i try my best to be there for anyone who needs me, and i really hope that I can give the word friend the justice that it deserves.
and lastly, can you all pray for my team...they are Cathy, Hannah, Jenny, Jo, Greg, Tim and Crispin, and we all need to look out for each other,... at the mo can we all pray for Jenny who has just lost her grandad, and that happening to her just makes the situation with my grandad so real to me, that he might not be here when i get back, and I am very very scared about that.
take care all of you
i feel that i should say a few thank yous to everyone who kindly looked after me, and met up with me on my last hectic visit to Exeter. Tessa and Rachel, thanks for a lovely thursday morning...you both have lovely houses (very clean, I was very impressed), and i had a lovely time catching up with your news, and just having a chat in general - and Tessa - you are a great spotter to have around (i think you might know about who i am talking about here - what a lovely view that was!!!) To Amy and Ali, thanks for a lovely saturday lunch and chat - it was like the first and second year all over again - the trio re-united...it was just fab seeing you again, and for you both to be so happy, just makes me happy. And Amy it was wicked seeing you again my love, miss you tonnes, and it makes me so happy that you are still happy, and have the things that you want. To Kat and Claire...wow it was ages since i last saw you guys, but it was great to see you - just as chirpy and as funny and as lovely as i remember - good luck girlies...To Ed and hid housemate Hannah (who i had met before, and looked after in my Freshers Week - i made her a bed out of shower curtains!!!), thanks for a lovely saturday night, and Ed thanks for the meal, it was very yummy. To Lisa - i always have a bed to lay my weary head on! To the Chaplaincy for sponsoring me - wow thanks guys thats a lot of help, and thanks for putting up with my singing once again...will miss that place. To James, Ella, Mark, the Ben' s and Norris - well guys thanks as always for making me laugh and feel welcome, and providing a house so close to shops, and the chaplaincy, and a house that is generally great to bum in! you're all so lovely and just thanks guys....and to anyone who i forgot i am sorry...but i just love it down there, and i am always made to feel so welcome. I will miss you all, and will forward my address soon, so when i am feeling lonely under the African skies, I hope that I will have your letters to cheer me up, and remind me of home.
and ben - the les mis was a lovely surprise and cheered me up no end - continue going to seminars - its all good in the end.
well i have had some exciting news, but i am going to wait for the official confirmation before i blog what it is cos i dont want to tempt fate - but it is very exciting and I am very happy about it...and as soon as i get confirmation than i will tell you what it is...
the other day my bros took me out for a goodbye meal in London without the parents so that we could have a good sibling chat. it was a really good evening, and I will miss my brothers so much when i go. And tonight I am going to dinner with their girlfriends - so that should be quite interesting...
and i went to my nans yesterday and what she said was like music to my ears "Zosia, I think that you have lost weight - you are looking thinner!" - hurrah! thats what i like to hear - and my nan only speaks the truth...
and well, i have been feeling a bit down recently, there is so much going on at the mo, its untrue, but i am getting there, and trying the best that I can to be a friend to everyone who needs me at the mo, and if I fail at that then I am sorry, but I am trying my hardest. we all have our off days, and our on days, but i try my best to be there for anyone who needs me, and i really hope that I can give the word friend the justice that it deserves.
and lastly, can you all pray for my team...they are Cathy, Hannah, Jenny, Jo, Greg, Tim and Crispin, and we all need to look out for each other,... at the mo can we all pray for Jenny who has just lost her grandad, and that happening to her just makes the situation with my grandad so real to me, that he might not be here when i get back, and I am very very scared about that.
take care all of you
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
HERE WE GO:
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
HERE WE GO:
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
HERE WE GO:
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SOERRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY.
I hope that you believe me now, i truly mean that sweetheart
Monday, February 14, 2005
will blog more about exeter soon, when i have stopped feeling tearful and ugh, and can think a bit more rationally...my exeter dream had to come to an end sometime...maybe this highlighted that fact.
will blog all about it soon, cos i did have some wonderful times over the last few days...but at the moment one not so nice event is blurring everything and i want and need time to think a bit more clearly
will blog all about it soon, cos i did have some wonderful times over the last few days...but at the moment one not so nice event is blurring everything and i want and need time to think a bit more clearly
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Exeter bound...
in a few hours timne i will be leaving for Exeter to see many wonderful people and say goodbye to them all...have some of thursday already booked with Rachel and Tessa, and hopefully i will see James and Ella too, and Mark, and everyone really - looking forward to it all!
Left work on friday...will write more about it all later, but it was very sad and teary, and they spoilt me rotten which was just loevly...
just been to an Ash wednesday mass, and it was the o0ne that the primary school go to ( we used to go to Mass every Wednesday morning at Primary School)...anyways, i went to speak to the head teacher, as she taught me in my last year of school! that wsa funny - she didnt recognise me at first, but then she did, she went "Zosia, of Andrew, Peter and Zosia"...yes I know sad isnt it...to be remembered by your siblings! but it was nice seeing her again...i miss primary school...
anyway, must search train times to Victoria so i can get mu coach...
and ps - pray for me, ahve juts found out that I am team-leader for Lesotho, and its a hell of a lot of responsibility!
in a few hours timne i will be leaving for Exeter to see many wonderful people and say goodbye to them all...have some of thursday already booked with Rachel and Tessa, and hopefully i will see James and Ella too, and Mark, and everyone really - looking forward to it all!
Left work on friday...will write more about it all later, but it was very sad and teary, and they spoilt me rotten which was just loevly...
just been to an Ash wednesday mass, and it was the o0ne that the primary school go to ( we used to go to Mass every Wednesday morning at Primary School)...anyways, i went to speak to the head teacher, as she taught me in my last year of school! that wsa funny - she didnt recognise me at first, but then she did, she went "Zosia, of Andrew, Peter and Zosia"...yes I know sad isnt it...to be remembered by your siblings! but it was nice seeing her again...i miss primary school...
anyway, must search train times to Victoria so i can get mu coach...
and ps - pray for me, ahve juts found out that I am team-leader for Lesotho, and its a hell of a lot of responsibility!
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