safe haven...

wow, once again i must apologise for the lack of blogging, but revisionitus has taken hold of me, and is spiralling out of control (only joking...i just havnt been bothered). but some interesting things have happened. wednesday i went to see my disability officer in psychology, and he without a doubt put me into safe haven after a minute of telling him about my depression - i should have told the department this by the beginning of may, and i was leaving it very very late - but i am changed and have my new exam time-table and everything...so margaret rooms it is for all my exams....at least i dont have to travel all the way to st lukes no more....

thursday i worked and then in the evening, contrary to what it says on james's blog - i cooked bacon galore before it went out of date, and amy did all the sausages - what a feast.

yesterday james and i took a trip down to exmouth to revise, and it worked - we sat in the library for ages and just worked and worked because there was no room for distractions! we had a walk on the beach for our lunch break, and then made it home in time for prayer group...amy and i made lots of pizza and gralic bread for tea, and james and mark and lisa came aroundm and we watched the last ever freinds, and the beginning of big bro, and consumed rather a bit of alcohol...oh never mind - i put lisa to bed in my room cos she was falling asleep, and a few minutes later i was in zzzz land too.

today i have done lots of essay plans, and was chucked out the library at closing time, and am now just off to town as i have no bread and cheese and other such consumables and i feel that i should try and eat this week with two big exams and all..


anyways - better be off before the shops shut.

zosh xx

ITS BEEN SO SO LONG...

wow - hadnt realised it had been so long since my last blog entry, and yeah lots has happened. thursday i got a bit upset about some stuff (realised had not taken anti-depressants that morning), and then in the evening james took me hostage os there was no way that i could do anymore work - well i saw some goslings, had water poured over me (thanks dan), laughed like i havnt laughed for as long long time (dan fell off the window sill, hit his head, fell off the back of the chair - well provided plenty of laughs!).

friday - i worked at home for a lot of the day, then went to campus and read a journal, realised i was late to prayer group, so ran all the way home, jined in, then walked lisa back home cos she has no night vision - i foiund it quite fun, curb...now, and lampost to your left...james felt the need to come, to walk me back home from walking lisa home. it was today when i found out that somebody had said i wasnt friendly....hmm ouch that gurt a lot a lot...

saturday - worked for a lot of the day, and in the evening we had U-NITE a twelve hour prayer vigil for the christian socities at the uni -we started off with a service, then had biscuits, then went to the justice and peace room, we then had an agape meal where i was aksing people if i was friendly all the time,k i then did some art...i joined in the hymn before the others went on the campus walk, and then i went to bed - - some would say not hardcore, i would say tired after loads of revision...

BUT i got up for the final service in the morning, granted still in my pj's but no-one else cared. that ws a nice service, and then james cooked breakfast, but ti was too early for me to eat so i toasted bread...when people left, back to bed i went then when i porperly got up i attempted to get music ready for mass sitting down - which i think was good, but it would have been nice to have had the computer somewhere else cos i felt a bit out of it changing the slides - i cooked pizza for food after mass...
worked in the afternoon, for longer than my four allowed hours, and the james et al., came aorund for tea - some didnt eat (why?) i cooked yummy food, and then went to the quiz where we beat the other team, and i voluntered to host the quiz on two weeks time!

monday - i worked on campus in the morning and at home in the evening...

today i have worked at home in the morning, and then came up to camps to meet helen and do a study session with her as we both do the same course, and so we were asking each other questions. i then did work in the library, and am now just off home to eat something of somekind...

busy time ive had then...three weeks and it will all be over - oh yes - and how happy will i be then?!
and thank you to people who have said that i am freindly - i needed that a lot - its only a little thing really, but does mean stuff you know....

tata for now - and james i dont work too hard you know...

zosh xxx

you see i do break

after three and a half hours of revision - i am having my lunch break - so you see James and Mark, i do break when working...at the mo i am in washington singer, but will have the rest of my lunch break outside, and then venture up to the library for the rest of the afternoon.

yesterday was a day focussed entirely on infant development, so today is disability - it is quite a hard topic - some models are the same, but learning about individual diasbilities is confusing and i am getting things confused - never mind...have found another way to revise though - and this is typing it all out onto a computer like you are writing an essay - i think it has helped a wee bit this morning anyways...

james and mark really took me on an adventure yesterday so i didnt work anymore in the evening...rob and lisa came too, but they were too interested in each other, and basically ignored the rest of us, and so i helped james unicycle, by being his starting support (he used my good side), and he got quite good - a little and often in practice and he should get there. we found this really nice little bridge, and i wanted to play pooh sticks but it was too dark - another time...

revision group thing is going quite well - i like working in the blue room, and james did hos whole presentation there yesterday - well done james!

radio one made me proud the other day - played damien rice - love him - he is great, and sums up how i feel at the mo "its not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball" - genius!
just to sat now if i am harsh or rude to anyone in the next few weeks, its not the true zosh - its exam zosh = stressed zosh...am trying my best guys i really am - and there is not long to go now, till you get no exmas ever again zosh - who i think that you will like a lot - well i hope you do

well must eat guys
keep well etc
zosh xxx

well thats all folks
today i had my last two seminars ever - and they were quite painful - not because they were hard but because i am in a lot of pain - i appear to have slept in an awkward way, and my neck is jarred and i cannot look to the left without it hurting a hell of a lot - never mind.

eurovision party was very enjoyable - thank you to all those who came...mass on sunday was hectic - trying to cook, sing, and do slides and get the readers etc just proved too much this week - never mind - food seemed to go down well - made my poster, we to thge quiz- didnt win, but i think we kicked ass.

yesterday was my last assessment before the exams - it was the poster presenttaion, and it was horrid - everyone was doin the comparisons, and they sent you away when they assessed it, but there was a lot of pointing and whicpering,a nd shaking of heads, and theyw ould ask you questions if they thought it was needed, and i couldnt breathe, it was v stressful. after that, iw ent to get my prescription, on the way back finding out that Toni and Guy were doing free heaircuts for models, i booked myself a free haircut - but you will all have to guess when i have it! then i studied for six hours

today i am in pain after the mentioned neck-injury, but worked for three hours before revision seminars, and am now off back home to do more revision - oh the joys of spring!

see you all soon
zosh

WOHOO FOR ZOSIA DAY...AND EUROVISION!!!
What a glorious sunny day it is today - and have i used it to my advantge - well the answer to that is obvious - NO!!! i have done 6 1/2 hours of revision, and now i have made the suggested changes to my poster presentation - which i make tomorrow, and show on monday - am leaving this too tight for my liking - tomorrow is cutting and mounting and sticking it might be fun..
revision has gone ok today - i started off the day not knowing anything about the nature/nurture debate of infant development, and now i know quite a bit..yay!

we are having a eurovision/zosia day party tonight - should be fun....

yesterday james and ella stayed round after the prayer group - amy and i were very impressed with Ella's fighting skills with james! it ended up in terrible jokes being said - oh dear oh dear...

never mind - have to meet lisa in town - we are cooking for Cathsoc tomorrow - this invloves buying some verg, and adding whatever is in the cupboard to it..mmm...it was Pauls suggestion!

anyway, to any other Zosia's in the world (and to my babcia who celebrates too (its her middle name, cos there isnt a Danusia day) STOLAT!!!

zosh xx

ok ok...
so in the last few days i have been in a terrible mood - absolutely bad bad bad mood - and i do apologise to anyone who may have been at the receiving end of a snap - i cant help it - stress is bad, and have had a bad few days - but i do aim to turn over the leaf. have spent the morning attempting a new presentation - i actually think this one is a bit better - and better still - it looks like that it now will fit - have sent it to my bro to look over it - and he is going to give me his verdict.

revision has been going ok - have found a really cool way to revise - involving the white board in the blue room - its great i get to scribble all over it, and then i can wipe it all off and start over again - i might start a revision group with some people so we can all work together, and make revision a wjole lot more fun...

have to go cos i said i would meet amy for lunch
Zosia Day tomorrow - yes it does exist! and eurovision - am looking forward to that.
zosh

bad bad bad mood
i think that says enough really. apparently i am not in fit helath to take my exams - but i am going to take them anyway - my poster presentation doesnt fit on the card, so am going to have to chop half of it out...my anti-depressants have been upped, and beta-blockers added...great...
thank goodness ER is on telly tonight.
have to go cos am going to chat to paul.
revision has sucked today in some ways - this damn poster - i thought i had it sussed too.
bad mood
zosh
x

Confused...

Lisa said that she liked this new blogger layout, but i am somewhat confused by it all, as i am in no-way technically minded, but never mind, loife goes on - i think that i am just having one of those days - in fact i am having one of those days - there is not even any thinking to be done - i just feel like crying.

so what a busy few days this has been - i feel i must apologise for my lack of blogs - i am getting very behind - my diary is also behind - i have been trying to make up sleep for last wednesady - but that isnt working - as all the time i am sleeping i feel i should be working - so no wonder i am having panic attacks as soon as i wake up - so glad i have a doctors tomorrow - it is muchos neededos.

the weekend was good - good meat at the BBQ guys - it was nice - sorry i slpet through the Pricess Bride - lack of sleepage as stated in the previous paragraph - and i dont think that sleepage should be mistaken for mopage - ok james...?

quiz on suday was too hard for my liking - what happened to all the stuff that actually challenges your braoin, and not what stuff was on the telly before you were even born...? cathsoc quiz is going to be much better if my section is anything to go by.

i just want to say a few things...i want things to go back to normal too - things might not have wroked out how u wnted them too, but its all for the best i think - and there is nothing worng with friends - in fact they can be just as special...

i am not an idiot, a spongmonkey, silly or anything else to that matter. yes i do lack a hell of a lot of confidence - you must have all noted that i never make eye contact with anyone, and when i sing at the chaplaincy - eyes are always closed, or am hiding from you all - i feel awkard about things like that - i feel so ashamed especially if i go wrong - and even if someone else sings wrong, then i feel worng, cos i think it makes me sound bad...so sorry for that - at the end of the day i am JUST zosia, nothing special, nothing great - just a big blob of me going around....

have worked very hard today, but not done everything that i wanted to get done, so am off to the library to continue where i was before my seminar today...the seminar was better after i had chatted to tim last week...it obviously worked...

so sorry for the lack of blog - now all i have to do is update my written diary at home - that takes much longer than this does.
so long to you all
if you can come to the quiz tomorrow - do come.....
zosh xx

OH LISA...
well what an eventful few days...tuesday i did revision, had a seminar - actually cooked a proper meal for the first time in a long time, and made a complaint about a seminar.....

wednesay - this was my dads birthday - hapy birthday dad. i got up early, and went to the library and revised for 5 whole hours. i then went to the meeting about our vigil thing that we want to organise - it went ok, we got all we could done with no CU rep there. on the way home i bumped into the convenor of the seminar that was criticised as i am student rep i have to have a meeting with him...great. got home and made some more revision noters, ansd sorted out the notes for this seminar so i can go to him tomorrow.

it was then time for Cathsoc - i got the chapel ready today . there was a host and purificator today and everything (and yes Paul i sealed up the bag so it does not go off). after mass was the fun and games night - and yes i did get rather competitive again, but it works and our team won - yay! but lisa (it has to be lisa) was injured. she was saying she was ok when we were juggling and polaying monkey ball...then she admitted to being ill, and went quite pale...i was not letting her walk home - even james and rob agreed with me on this one...so i rang the out of hours doctor - knew all lisas detail, date of birth, address, doctor - but failed at my open telephone number - oh the shame...anyways, to cut a long story short i did a frantic phone of cab companies, and when i mentioned a&e - one came in five minutes...so off to A&E we went. we waited and waited and waited, got lisa seen by a doctor - i was very worried for our lisa - her feeling on her hands and arm were going, and she was in so much pain, and then we went to xray-and many many hours later after being given pain killers and advice on what to do, we left the hospital, and got a cab back to lisa's.
i made her a hot water bottle, made sure that she was comfortable and had her pain-killers, and by the time i was in bed dawn chorus had started...didnt really sleep - was too worried about you lisa

got up showered and took lisda to the doctors, and then made my way home, where i informed paul of the actions and had to fill in an incident report. i am now on campus, after practically no sleep - trying to prepare a poster presentation as that wsa on my plan for the day...maybe today is when i begin my liking of coffee..

oh i forget the funny part - lisa and i were at that point of tiredness where we were just sitting in A&E laughing at nothing - and i had chick, chick, chick, chick chicken lay a little egg for me in my head...and i told lisa all about infant motor development - very exciting i will havew you know. Lisa and I also thought it sensible to tell an adult what had happened - so sorry Paul for waking you up in the night once again, but we thought that you should be informed, incase anything else did happen.

i dont want to sound big-headed but i do feel quite proud with the whole looking after lisa thing - it made me feel very maternal, and i tried not to panic and just do things in the way that i thought was right.

pray for lisas neck people
and cathsoc - next time risk assessments?
must do some work and then sleep methinks...
and thanks for rob and james for staying as long as you did and keeping me a bit calm
and happy birthday mark
zosh

I AM A QUIZ GENIUS (TO THE SURPRISE OF JAMES)
there seems to have been a flurry of blogging of which i have not been a part, and so i have made my way up to campus (on a bank holiday of all days) to not let the who,e blogging system down....how good is that?
on saturday i was doing revision, food shopping and attempting to cheer up amy some more, when james kindly invited me to a trip to a drinking establishment, so amy, james rob, norris (adam turned up later) took a trip to a public house, and plyed an interesting game of scrabble, amy won (yes its the least points that wins!) and two words that should be in the dictionary but arent were placed on the board - those being VUNU, and QUIVEM - vunu being a biological term, and quivem being a part of my brain....hmmm we then ventured back to play monkey ball.

sunday was mass day -all was well until tessa put me off the communion hymn - never mind - it was fun controlling the slides. rachel made some food, and then said some comments about the old committee which i have taken to heart somewhat as they were quite uspetting...after i revised all afternoon, until it was quiz time. we walked down to the pub, and were "team laser explosion" - i was rather good at the quiz, much to the surprise of james and myself - grr to lisa she should ahve known the flag answer, and well done me for getting NIGHT! and revolver (very fast!). i was quite chuffed - however, i think that when James and robs regular team mates return i will be shoved off the quiz team - never mind. well done to amy for picking out the raffle ticket that won us a box of chocolates...mmm chocolate;

we then watched a stupid amount of ivor the engine, although i was dozing off. james and lisa were being very childish (evil james), and then lisa came to sleep at mine.

am now off to learn something about disability, as infant development was all last weekend - might make my revision timetable too...

see/hear from you wonderful people soon
ps 3rd of may - trzczy maj! Witaj maj! - what a great day for Poland
zoshx