Monday 29th December
so James and Lisa seem not to have updated their blogs for a while, it seems like i am the sad one who is. Well in the last few days i have mostly been...writing essays! yup one nearly done (just about 600 words to go), and one to go, so i am quite proud of myself reallly...the other one i am going to write in the comfort of my bedroom in exeter where i have a bigger desk and more room to spread my scribbles. but one 4000er nearly done, and i am proud...well not really cos i think its not that good, but hey its done. so i have not felt at all christmassy this year...i have been tired and worrying about my work, but as everyone keeps telling me -its only 6 more months now - thinking that will help, but it is infact very scary - i have loads to do....argh! but never mind...i will do it, somehow...

apart from that, i went to church yesteray which was nice, a time to pray i sometimes find helps me get my worries off my chest, sometimes it doesnt, but God is listening to me. I went to Greenwich the other day too - took a walk in the very big park which was nice, apart from the fact that it was very cold and i have lost my gloves. I am trying to walk off my Christmas diner you see, and it helps that my mum is on a cooking strike so i dont have to eat big meals. i just have some weight to lose now, i think i have lost some, and that has made me happy, but there is still some to go...

not much else left to say - meeting up with friends over the new year, so i dont spend it on my own, and then i am back at uni so i can concentrate on work for the last week of my holiday.

i have one more request - can people please pray for my grandad - he had a really agitated day today - where he didnt know who or where he was, and wanted to be in a different world - he is so poorly, and i know he wont get better, but i dont want him to be in pain or so confused anymore, so please pray for him... thank you all very much
zosh x

Friday 26th december - BOXING DAY!
wow, i do have loads to write for a change....i did manage to go out with my school friends the other night - and it was good...i just laughed off nay questions about a boyfriend, and managed to find flaws in all their relationships - maybe not the nicest thing to ever do, but it took the attention off me, and stopped me from feeling very miserable...it was a good night though...and my friends are all very supportive of me and my medication, and are happy that i am now coming off it.

I went up to london on tuesday and used all my dads work friends as participants in my final year project - the fools! no, its not a bad project but it is quite funny, making people do an experiment that couls influence the psychological world - and i am controlling it...in fact it is quite scary...but i am enjoying it...for now anyway. after i got home, and had a headache, and new what awaited me - the wrapping of presents...great joy - but i have become very quick at wrapping presents - it is a mindless task. My big big bro came home today - with his girlfriend - she is having her first Polish Christmas with us this year....

which brings me very nicely to Christmas Eve - this is the most important night for Polish people, and we fast during the day, and eat a stupid amount at night (although i didnt as i am on a diet!). We went over to my nans for the meal (known as Wigilia), and the carers wheeled my grandad into the room with us...although he thought we were all strangers, it was nice he was able to celebrate with us. We did the normal sharing of the oplatek, and then we went to the table, shotted vodka, and began the meal...this was yummy - my nan is an excellent cook...after we sang Polish Koledy and English Carols - nad it was mazing, and somewhat tearful also that my grandad despite all his other problems could sing and remember the carols - that is something i will never forget about this Christmas...after we had done all the presents, our famile left so that we could go to midnight mass....

Christmas day is more relaxed for us...we just chill...we still have the turkey and trimmings, but we take it very slow...it was a nice day...but i was not feeling myself - and i have not felt like that for a long time, but i didnt want to ruin everyones day, so i put on my happy face...i dont now what it was, maybe it ws the fact that this last term at uni has just been crazy, and i still have so much to gtet through this year - i just feel daunted about everything i have left to do...was just also thinking about friends i have not seen for a while, and how good it would be to see them again - and of course my nan who was having to spend a day like yesterday on her own (well she was with my grandad). but basically on her own.

monday 22nd december

argh spent ages updating this, and the computer crashed...grr damn computers. well i have done all my shopping for presents that wsa a nightmare...i have visited my nan and grandad loads, and helped them by getting their prescriptions, i decorated our home christmas tree, and i hope to meet my school friends tonight.

i am not at all in christmas spirit, in fact i am quite dreading christmas eve cos it will be a teary affair, what with my grandad being bed bound, and having lost a member of the family this year...so all in all i hope it will be ok, but am not sure it will be.

i now i will get the 20 questions from my friends about if i have a boyf yet - and the response will be the same as usual---although this time i could add that i had someone for a whiole, but he turned out to be a shit, and when kirkham spoke to him, he said that he was so fucked up cos i am a nice girl...so there you are men...you dont know what you do to us ladies.

want to meet up with another mate...have not seen him properly for like, alhtough he has kept in touch by text and email. he met me two months before uni, and we got on well, and he has been very supportive about my depression and anxiety, and so it will be cool to see him again

tata for now
zosh x

monday 22nd december
i feel i have somewhat neglected my blog sinse i have been at home, so now is my chance to cathch up...although there really is not much to catch up on. I have been Christmas shopping twice and that is a stress and a half - Bromley is soooo busy and i had so many push chairs rammed into my ankles....but i have managed to get presents for all my family, and helped my mum choose presents for my brothers...they are soo hard to by for. I have also visited my nan loads, and am about to go there after doing this. I went to the chemist for her to get their prescriptions. I was also trying to have a conversation with my grandad but this is very hard, as he lives in his own world, where he believes he is still working...i ended up just singing some Polish Christmas Carols to him, and that made him smile loads - that must have jogged one small part of his memory, otherwise he would have just kept his usual confused expression...he does still have something -well i hope he has...but it is hard. Christmas Eve (a very important day for us - we celebrate this instead of Christmas DaY) is going to be a tearful affair, especially as our family sadly lost somebody this year also.

i also decorated out Christmas tree - this took ages - you see i had to wait unitl pop idol had finished, and then i had to thread all the chocolates, and then choose all the decorations i wanted...both my brothers were away visiting girlfriends (grr...) so i was all on my ownsome, until my mum came to help me...we had a mini Carol singing session...but i still do not feel in the Christmas spirit at all...and i know why

first of all, i have two eveil essays to wirte that are always on my mind, and secondly, i am dreading Christmas...everyone keeps aying "this will be the last with the family altogether" and putting a depressive outcome onto it, and that does not make me feel joyous at all...

my mum is still winding me up about breaking the oven - but hey ho...she wanred my help with the cooking...maybe that will tell her not to have me helping again!

should be meeting up with my school friends tonight, and we will have our usual chats of -well Zosh any luck with the lads this term - well thsi time i can say well - i found someone who liked me, he turned out to be a shit, and made me very upset and now thinks that he may have fucked up a good opportunity...well men....what do you have to say for yoursleves...

i want to meet up with a mate that i ave not seen properly for two whole years now, but we have texted and emailed each other loads. he is a damn good bloke - others dont like him, but he has supported from a distance, and has kept in touch with me better than other peeple. i only met him two months before going to uni, but we got on like a house on fire, and habve just kept in touch...so might have to arrange to meet him...

anyways, i feel that this has made up for ym neglected blog - if i dont write again before wednesday (maybe i will write on wednesday) i hope that you all have a lovely christmas, and that Lisa you are ok, and that everone is happy, and not working too hard!
xxx

Friday 19th December
Thought i would update this, although not so much has happened. I have been trying to do some work, some of it has been good, others not so good, but i have found some items, that makes my dreaded essay not so dreaded anymore - and i have colour coded my notes so it looks all pretty now! spent yesterday evening making yummy Polish biscuits, but broke the oven door doing them - never mind, mum has been waiting for a new kitchen for ages. went shopping for presents today - was too hectic...

its hard trying to diet at this time of the year! half a stone to lose - it will be done!

Tuesday 16th december
and this is a holiday....? am not really having a holiday to be honest, i have so much work to be getting on with i am doing that - it is all reading, reading and more reading, and then a little bot of research. am still researching the essay that really is going to be the death of me...i just cant find anything relevant and its just ARGH...well never mind....i really dont have much interesting to say...have been cycling here so i dont put on any weight because i actually want to lose some. i had put on a bit you see, whilst on my "happy pills", and now i am coming off them, i want to lose the weight too. Its stupid to try and lose weight at Christmas, but i am giving it a go. I want to see my school friends but most of them are loved up, and it sux because they rub it in my face, and i hate it - i feel lonely when they do that....but never mind, i still want to see them, for a little drinkage and shopping or something - maybe clubbing so i can have a boy hunt....

anyways, i hope everyone else is well. Just remembered Paul was going to give me music to learn in the holidays to improve my repertoire of hymns, but he forgot to given them to me, so i am going to be hymn naive next term too! i suppose i can learn them when i get back. still think Tessa should learn them cos she is far superior then me at singing but hey whatever...its all about being the best singer can be thats important (note the adaptation from monkey ball!)

oh lastly, i have conquered my Cathsoc challenge of learning to juggle with 3 balls - i forgot what my punishment would have been, but hey - it doesnt matter cos i ahve done it!

wohoo
xx

Sunday 14th december
oh happy the day, the fucked up man that is Sadam Hussain has been caught!!!wohoo - what is going to gbe done with him now? all i can say is that those who were so frightened of him and his terrible regime can now begin to live the life that they deserve and live the life that they want without being in hiding...

today has been a good day. Had a lovely night sleep, and got up and went to church...its odd actually having to leave the house to go to church...and its a big church too...the pries is very old though - and i am sure that i have heard the sermon before...but when priests are old adnd not very active they cannot always make sermons fun...bu this i mean at the chaplaincy the sermons are different...Paul will stand up and you dont know what he is going to say, and from what angle he is going to approach it...sometimes we light candles, sometimes we pace flowers on stones representing the wilderness, and sometimes Paul juggles...once he even juiced a grapefruit...but you see they are unexpected and related to us, and makes us think loads (sometimes too much), so when you go home and hear the same sermon as the same time last year, you do know the priest is getting old...

i saw my grandad today, he didnt recognise me...but it didnt matter - he is still living beyond anyones expectations - granted he is very frail, and needs everything done for him, but still he is living...God is testing us i think...telling us to have hope and hang on in there when times are very shitty, maybe telling me in particular that things do get bad but you just have to battle through. I love my grandad loads, he may not know who i am (which is upsetting), but i love him to bits, and just as long as i remember that in his way he loves me too i can be content....

xxx

Saturday 13th december
wow super tired today, but am happy cos i am home. last night it was Amy's birthday party, and I wasnt going to go to the lemmy but she was tearful so i did...unfortunately the t**t that is a Jonty was there trying to be nice, but failing - saying that he would never be nasty to a woman - my arse...i am proof that he is nasty...he was annoying me, but i still had a boogy with the kirkham and others...i got back and very quietly tidied up the blue room cos it was a state.

got up so early this morning, and finished packing. got my mummy a birthday present then when my parents arrived - I took them out for lunch. the drive home was long but it was good seeing my bro again...the other one comes home tomorrow so will see him them. not much else to say really. am tired, and was hungover this morning. just want to say that if anyone makes my lisa upset should think twice - and lisa remember our moto - take no shit from no-one! keep smiling my lovely

xxx

Friday 12 December
not much really to say, but as this is my only time on campus today, i had better do something. yesterday evening i read some very interesting articles, before nearly falling asleep in the lounge, so i thought as i was tired i would go to bed...but as soon as i got into bed i was no longer tired...why does that happen? this morning - even though i got up early, the other chaplians still caught me eating my breakfast...do i send out some Zosh is eating beakfast signal?...or are they coming earlier? i have just been doing research for an essay - not very lucky though...will just leave it for the holidays now, amd just fed up with it all, and am that bit too tired now. have to go to town and get Amys 21st birthday pressie, and see if i can get my bros Christmas stuff too. have to pack also cos i am going home tomorrow...
so wow this term gas gone far too quickly for my liking...only really got one proper term of university left and that is very scary, and does make me panic - which i am not supposed to do anymore, and as i still do i get annoyed with myself - oh these little vicious circles, they are so horrid. it is still so dark and nasty outside, and i dont even have my happy music to listen to on the way to town, i can see it is going to be one of those days...

xxx

Thursday 11 December
my tiredness has hit an all new level. Yesterday i wrote a chunk of my final year project - i wasnt going to do anything, but paul gave me some motivation. i was glad when i could decorate our christmas tree, idle tasks like this are very fun, and then singing Christmas carols in candlelight is just an ultimate way to spend an evening, so relaxing and lovely. i like singing - i dont think i am that good, but i love singing. after we had mulled wine that Lisa and i made and sat and ate stupid amounts of party food...when others had gone we played monkey ball and ate chocolates...we the cleared up the tip....today have been very tired, but have done work on an essay i think will be the death of me...did even MORE research for it to try and find helpful information but failed. met Helen in the Ram for a Christmas Coke, and then have just come out of a seminar where i took 6 pages of notes, and my hands are sore know.

am going to try and do more work tonight, but am feeling a bit miserable...took out no food to defrost so tea looks like toast - mmm yummy. am glad that James and Lisa like their presents...phillippe the ferret was a welcome and much loved member of cathsoc yesterday, and Lisa's socks also made an appearance - happy use of your pressies guys!

have just found out that one of my best friends gran is very ill, and i feel very sorry for her. Cancer is a nasty, nasty illness, so i am writing a plea for everyone to pray for her nan, so she can battle this cancer, and please pray for my friend too - it is especially hard for her as the nan lives in Poland, and so she cannot even be there to give support.

only a few more days before home time, and am kindof dreading it actually - its a bit doom and gloom at the mo, cos my grandad as you have read before is very ill...am scared that when i see him he will have deteriorated even more, and i dont know how i will cope with the situation, it is all very hard.

anyways am glad people like our mulled wine - it must have been the added pumpkin pie spice (which - i read the ingrediants too - is exactly the same as all spice so no-one should worry!)

xxx

Wednesday 10th December
am soooo tired its unreal. Paul said i looked tired, which in my language means you look awful with big black rings under your eyes...never mind, its nearly the end of term. yesterday i worked hard reading these articles which finish like "the literature reviewed above is very unhelpful" well great - if they told me that at the very beginning i wouldnt have read the damn thing. anyways, after i met lisa to go to the Carol service at the football ground. i love singing Christmas Carols, they are very nice, and i did have a nice time there although i was getting very cold - thank goodness for my happy hat! after we went for mulled wine and mince pies - i think the mulled wine was actually wine free - but never mind it was warm and i needed that. there were lots of mince pies which were yummy, and i was embarressing lisa by putting some in my hat to take home - James came up with the cunning idea to ask to take some back - but was too scared to ask - so i went and got this HUGE box of mince pies to carry back. I walked home with James and Mark and their friends, and we had a bit of a laugh.

Carol service at Cathsoc tonight should be good fun...although i am tired. have started writing an introduction for my project cos i had a big panic about it, but it is going ok i think - i never realised how much backgroud work i had actually done already...i am going to continue with it this afternoon.

not much else to add really. just a bit stressed and over worked and not very happy, but i can put on my happy face and it will all be good.

xxx

Tuesday 9th December
wow, what a day yesterday was - or should i say evening. this was the event i was very worried about but an event i was looking forward to the most - of course - the Cathsoc formal event, ladies on posh dresses, and men in Dj's...so Mad Megs was the loaction, seven o'clock in the evening was the time, food and alcohol was the game plan. The spicy chicken wings - were just that! too hot to be eaten by most - poor James (pinto) that is, on our table had to go to extreme measures of mouth immersion in water to help him....the turkey roast was just yummy, and the TWO deserts that Karen challenged me to eat were i am sure very calorific but so yummy! Lisa and I had a few surprises for people...flowers for Karen, wine for Paul, and a ferret ball for James, and I managed to keep my present for Lisa quiet! good on me! Paul very kindly said Grace for us, and Lisa and i did a toast. Obviously mingling was done, and strange topics of conversation were had...We now know Paul used to have a full sized poster of Pamela Anderson on his wall, and that he likes Jennifer Anniston (why he tells us these things is a mystery - 3 of us have blogs -), but i shouldnt mock Paul - he helped with the stresses of the evening, and very kindly got wine for the tables - thank you paul...and we have now openly stated that you should play the guitar more....
after those of us hardcore enough went to Arena, managed to blag our way in, and better than that managed to blag some of their imitation champagne. Lisa stayed at the Chaplaincy...our feet were not very happy with us at all.

i think and hope everyone had a good night - i cant wait for all the photos to be developed of the night - there should be some funny ones there...i want to say thank you for everyone for making it a success and that Cathsoc in general are fiesta loving people!

today i said to myself i must do four hours of study before rewarding myself with a trip to campus...oh i do give myself some treats dont i...am meeting up with Lisa again later for a carol service.

am so glad that yesterday evening went well. everyone looked gorgeous - lisa looked stunning in her dress, and everyone made an effort...it was muchos funos!

Monday 8th December
What a weekend it has been. Saturday was very hectic. i got up at a stupid hour for a saturday (it was sooo early), and only because i had to make yet another treck to St Lukes library, to get the most amazing book ever - it is my essay in a book - its brilliant! anyway, i then went to town, and was looking for an outfit for tonights formal meal, and i found a dress was nice, but it was not as nice as the outfit i already have - so i didnt buy it...i saved myself money...i then got some food - well i say fod, but i really mean vegetables, and satsumas - i mean i might turn into a satsuma i eat so many of them. i also got ice-cream (two tubs of ben and jerrys for £4 - i could not pass up that offer). the rest of saturday was spent working and reading...and opening my St Nicholas gift..mmm

sunday was just a great day. Paul did a good service as ever really - the sermon included a box of jelly babies (always good), a mirror ball (fantastic) and obviously a great deal of thought. Tessa sang great today - she has a lovely voice - its not fair...then there was the party...so much food was in the bar it was so good..lots of yummy food, and of course a fantastic pass the parcel from james, and musical statues done by Tessa. I had a lovely time - it was just what i needed. i am a big child at heart! James and I cleared up thne bar we have lots of yummy food left over - lucky us! i hoovered and washed up things, and then read the amazing book i got from the library. Paul was playing and singing the guitar with his friend all evening, and as i am just above the chapel i heard it all. It was great...i mean it was really good. i really liked "Time after Time" and "aint no sunshine"...i want to learn the guitar

today i have been to a boring meeting...i am going to do some work - i have a lot of photocopying to do, and am meeting my partner in crime later. Am looking forqard to tonight really loads, it should be a great night. i have to make myself look beautiful though - and man thats a task!

hope you all had a good weekend...
xxx

Friday 05 December
Today has been an odd day. yesterday iw as quite tired so do limited work in the evening, and went to bed but i kept on haviong weird dreams, so sleep was a bit hectic. I got up early this morning and had an early breakfast, because at the Chaplaincy, the other chaplains come around, and it is quite embarrassing when i am in a sleepy state eating my cereal, and they come and chat...so i ate early! I then did my work, as a good girl. Paul and i were trying to choose music for sunday - i remembered some of what Lisa and I had decided on, but on others I was lacking...i felt quite ashamed at the limited number of hymns that i know...and Paul wants me to learn some with Tessa - which i said that I would do, bust just havnt had time...but i will do it next term, well will try to do it if i can, but Tessa has an amazing voice and I dont, so i really think it should be Tessa eho learns them.

have just come out of a play about mental health issues...it was very interesting and very thought provoking...they are common, and do happen and I think that more should be learnt about them.

I dont have the net at home, so thi be updated till monday...but i am quite worried about the party on sunday as Lisa just told me the other day that she is not going to be there...so looks like its on me....and James who said that he would make a pass the parcel for me...its on my blog now, so you have to do it!
I am also going to buy an outfit for monday...and hopefully that will make me look beautiful!

xxx

Thursday 04th December
so much has happened in the little world of me in the last 24 hours its very exciting... well i did make it down to St Lukes library - i walked there, and didnt get lost (very unlike me), and found some stuff that could be helpful for my essay! yay! Walking back through town - i popped into shops but only very briefly, and saw a skirt i was very tempted by - if it is still there at the weekend i will get it. Got home, and worked till Cathsoc - i am even working through Neighbours...now something must be wrong for that to happen

Cathsoc today was exhausting for me...it was reflection and reconcilliation night. Paul did the music for a change - but it was great...i think i might ask Paul to play guitar more often...i love the sound of the guitar, am thinking of learning how to play it..i want to learn, it is just finding the time. The time in chapel was teary as i thought it would be...and after i went for my chat with paul. as Kristian said "I thought Zosia would go in there, she seems like the person who has problems". He then apparently went onto say that I am the type of person who would talk about my problems for ages...to tell you the truth - yeah i do have problems...and having Kris say that doesnt help me...that boy...he gets to me sometimes (well a lot of the time)...if he knows i have problems surely he should be more sympathetic rather than complaining about my time i talk about them to other people....A promlem shared etc..

anyway after we ate my crisps, karen and Paul spurned my offer of cooking them pizza (it is yummy pizza) and went for a take-away (and they called Lisa and me students like for eating mandarin segments from a tin)! and james, mark, lisa and i played monkey ball - me going against all morals and liking a computer game - although playing rather badly!

Today - i have been to the gym - and worked off an amazing 548 calories there! Have read journals, and have just been to a seminar where he gave me a helpful book to read that has my essay in it to a tea...but it means another trip to st lukes...have to buy milk before i go home, and do more work like the sad muppet i am!

long entry today -sorry if you got bored...and cant wait for my yummy meal on monday - and buying my outfit for it on saturday...!

tata for now
xxx

Wednesday 3rd December
As you heard i was very angry yesterday...hmm am still a bit angry today. Never mind, i was able to chanel all the anger into my work, and read to horrible articles BUT managed to understand them AND make notes on them, and that is what i was doing yesterday evening. I even started another article but was far too tired to continue with it, so i went to bed. This morning i had to get up very early, but was happy, as it was my last 9 o'clock ever! now that is something to be joyous about. i now only have two hours a week of contact time...that puts a lot of onus on me to actually do my work on my own...i suppose i just have to get angry more and concentrate a bit harder. Although, I have decided today that I will go to St Lukes library and get some stuff there that the main campus doesnt have here. So I do work hard really.

The photos of the safer sex ball have been put onto the internet. I dont like mine at all. infact i think that they are rather horrid (well the ones of me on my own). It is for this reason that I believe i am still lonely...For all those who no me well, they will know that i have been down recently over a lack of love in my life, and they keep on telling me that it will happen soon - well i say - not if i look like that....

Also a big congratulation to lisa has to be made! After everything has been crossed for the last few days - we finally have a venue for the cathsoc formal event. This year Lisa has worked wonders with Cathsoc, and sometimes I feel that people dont appreciate evrything that she actualy does. in my view lisa is a star,a nd she has really built up a strong cathsoc, and deserves all the praise for doing so. Lisa is great, i love her a lot, and have a lot of admiration for her. And now the icing on the cake - she found us a venue---lisa you are a star!

so the cathsoc event is going ahead. I really love Cathsoc.I think it is a fab society. i feel so comfortable around all the people in it - like i dont have to worry about anything - and that is how i think it should be. I really like it when it is just the hardcore four at the end of the evening (James, Mark, Lias and Me). we just sit and laugh and chat, and James and Mark are quite the double act...

am worried about tonight - with reflection and reconcilliation. I am an emotional person, and i have a lot of stuff going on at the moment, and so i cant help it if i get emotional sometimes. i dont enjoy crying in front of others though...i like people to see me happy not sad, and i dont want to burden my problems on other people...so i willtry my best not to cry tonight, but i am not promising anything...but of course...as i have been told, i SHOULD have more control...well more control my arse
xxx

Tuesday 2nd December

So yesterday evening was what i had been waiting for, for a long time...and it came and went. I went to the Safer Sex Ball...now some may wonder...why would a Catholic go to something like this...well as the speaker sais...you can be a Christian and still have fun. Anyway the money raised goes to charity to help raise awareness of AIDS, which i think is personally an absolutely fab thing. So many people have this terrible illness and it is about time we found a cure for it. I went dressed up as you do...i was Jane of the Jungle (form Tarzan). I had a lot of fun - i even got a photo with a Radio 1 dj - lucky me! I had a much needed neck and shoulder massage, and just generally had a laugh. I did feel very self-conscious the whole night due to my lack of skirt, but i still had a laugh. am lookig forward to the photos.

Just before the ball, i had a conversation with somebody and it did anger me. I was saying how upset i felt everythine i rang my nan at home, because my grandad is very very ill, and it upsets me that he is so bad. The other person just was telling me blunt things like.. i should stop being so emotional, and that i should seperate feelings and emtions...and i should not be upset over someone who is not even aware of anything. personally i think i have a right to be upset and emotional if my grandad is dying, and although he has got dementia he is still a person i love dearly - if he is aware or not.

anyway, today i have done work, and am going to do more when i get home - i know its dull, but it has to be done...

i just want to say thanks to James for the link - people can read my random ramblings now - although my page is no-where near as hi-tech as his - YET!!!

and still keep your fingers crossed as to ball venues - we are trying our best

xx

Monday 1st December
Wow - december already...where has all the time gone...well i saud if lisa got a blog then i would too, and she did, so well i am having to too. its all very hi-tech for me...am quite crap at all this stuff...i doubt if it will even work. got up very early this morning, to do some work...sad as it may seem...but i am very busy you see. have a meeting to go to soon, am sure that will be dull, but all thoughts are on the Safer Sex Ball tonight, which should be muchos funos...well i hope so anyway.

yesterday i had to read at this Advent Carol Service thing - it was all very nice apart from the fact that the whole way through i was very worried my candle was going to end - but mine was the only to survive from my bench - i was very proud of the candle...i stayed behind after to eat mince pies...they were nice i suppose...they could have had more fillings in them.

am also busy with lisa trying to find a new venue for the cathsoc ball...it was supposed to be in Reed Hall, but that failed so we are now very busy to find location number 2...fingers crossed!